Everything Random is Meaningful Again

Not drunk all the time!!!

2007-04-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I am a bit behind on things. Lara came to visit LAST weekend, and I am only getting around to blogging about it NOW... But believe me, if you knew half of what kind of week I just had, you'd understand why I was too busy drinking and moping to blog about a wonderful oasis of a weekend I had just a week ago that seemed liek a lifetime ago.... LARA come back!!!!I know, I know, I am a bit behind on things. Lara came to visit LAST weekend, and I am only getting around to blogging about it NOW... But believe me, if you knew half of what kind of week I just had, you'd understand why I was too busy drinking and moping to blog about a wonderful oasis of a weekend I had just a week ago that seemed like a lifetime ago....

LARA come back soon and for GOOD!!!

We went to Duncan, land of totem poles, hippies and of course, the world's biggest hockey stick. It was so fun! I hereby proclaim Duncan is Drunken no more, it is Hippiecan or something more catchy, but in that vein.

And it was actually nice out!The sky was blue, there was sunshine and I even had to dig out my sunglasses. Yah!! I'm so ready for pedicures and no scarf weather! (Not that that mean that I will be putting away my heater. NEVER!)

We met up with Amaya for breakfast at Floyd's and then just bummed around downtown. It was a fun, relaxing weekend. This seems more like a Kate update, but this happened so long ago now. I don't know what to say about it.

(REDACTED)

Walking with a Ghost

2007-03-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

What a Week!

Ever had one of those weeks where disaster only follows disaster? Where everything you touch seems to break ( in my case, it falls… just call me butterfingers) Where even the most common mishap, say a burnt out lightbulb, is enough to drive you to tears? Well, welcome to me week. The days were not counted by nights of blissful rest but of intervals of black space between disasters and awkwardness and hardships.

These are my struggles.

A half reno-ed house that has become overcome with woodbugs. Woodbugs! We spent thousands of dollars on fancy laminate floors to be overthrown by armies of weird silver bugs that curl up into balls and frolick about MY place like they own it? No. I don’t think so. An annoying bout of butterfingers-itis that has caused me to drop a big tub of laundry detergent on my patio; a bottle of body lotion on my kitchen floor; a water bottle on my living room floor; a cellphone more times than I care to admit; and a really sharp kitchen knife which inexplicably "fell" into my leg twice in the last two weeks! An insurable case of dementia which has caused me no small amount of grief as I thought I had lost my mp3 player; my gym membership card; my passport; my gym lock; my hammer and yes, car ( which can happen a lot more often than you think when you usually park you car in front of your house but then one night you have to park it a block away and then when you leave for work the next morning your car is nowhere to be seen.. well, I guess it could be seen if I walked like two steps; but still it’s enough to give a girl a grey hair when it happens at 8 in the morning before I’ve had my morning coffee).

What else has happened?

I almost died from gas poisoning when I tried to bake a pizza in my gas oven. My illegal cable was cut leaving me TV-less on Wednesday night, ( Yes, I know, LOST and ANTM night!! So bad!!). Also, I had planned on getting shaw digital phone so I could call all my peeps whenever I want but then since I had illegal cable I decided to get a telus phone and now I have to get cable so I should have gotten Shaw digital phone in the first place!!! Oy vae!! It’s enough to make my head spin.

Then there is the bathroom saga.

Well, the saga that there is no bathroom. That everytime you sit on the toliet the back jiggles. That there is no door to the bathroom. That there is no floor. That the place is a disaster and I have been living there since March 10! Not fun! Going upstairs to have shower really early every morning! Not fun!

Then there is work.

Work is a saga unto itself. I worked overtime today. Overtime! I came in to work at 7:30 am. (Course now I am wasting that extra hour by blabbing on in my blog; so whatevs, it all comes out in the wash, right? I am starting to feel the pressure, deadlines, ungrateful bosses; know-it-all clients, unhappy co-workers. I swear If I develop a furrowed brow or a single grey hair from this job; I am out of here. Starbucks, here I come.

Then on top of all these struggles, there is the main struggle,

I am lonely.

I have not many friends here. All by myself! (please start singing that Celine Dion classic to yourself, as you read the rest of this entry). Nobody to watch TV with me. Nobody to talk to on the phone with. Nobody! No fair! I miss being busy with fun things to do and great, exciting plans. I want summer and fun and excitement. Not boring, raining winter with it’s no fun gloom and dust.

Yes, these are my struggles. It is a hard road, I've toiled, and it's always darkest before dawn and maybe I am just sleepy and have PMS...

Moved IN!!!

2007-03-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

Yes. It has finally happened…82 days after the last big move; I am finally reunited with ALL of my stuff, in my newly-renoed place. It’s great. I love my stuff. I love my place. Even though the bathroom is not fully functional; I love my place. Even though I don’t have any mirrors or photos up yet because I am afraid if I put a nail in the wall the entire wall will crumble. (Sadly not a paranoid delusion in this place). And you know what, so, sometimes the house smells like gas, it’s not going to explode anytime soon ( I don’t think, but just in case, I’ve been laying off the candles for a while).

And even though I am in desperate need of some furniture (high on the priority list are an armoire for my television; a chair with a matching ottoman; some dining room chairs; a recliner, and a desk) the place is cozy and comfy despite its shortcomings.

I can’t wait until everything’s done ( I know, I know, it’s a work in progress; but I am impatient!) and I can’t wait until everyone sees it! I will try and get my act together and post some photos online of my place because I’m not sure when my ex-Melrose place neighbour (who do you want to be? You do have red hair like Dr. Kimberly Shaw) or my big-whig executive lotto girl or the eternal student or the leader of the Japanese Mafia will be able to get down here!

MISS YOU!!!

Nothing starts a Monday off right like Drunk Photos from 2 Weeks Ago....

2007-03-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

The birthday boy :)

Drunk girls like to hug.

Drunk girls also like being sandwiched by gay guys.

The. funniest. photo. eva.

Sometimes it's hard being so edgy.....
Maybe I look like a crazy lush but who's that in the background looking like he knows what is going on and is still acting all crazy?
See the rest of the photos on my flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/preetadelic

Love you long time!

Happy Monday:)

Like a Poisoned Ant Crippled by Asphyxiation

2007-02-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

That is going to be my new bumper sticker. I feel like that is the state of modern, mature (cough, cough snicker, snicker) romantic entanglements. Not really the stuff of epic romances, we’re all much too cynical and well read for any of that stuff really. But still interesting enough to stop and watch for a few moments at least. Ants are highly intelligent creatures; you know they would make adequate husbands. They work hard; work well as a team and are pretty utilitarian in the looks department. Sure maybe they aren’t the best conversationalists. Maybe they aren’t the guy you fantasized about dating when you were a young, impressionable girl, adept at letting yourself fantasize about frivolous, wonderful things like what would Jordan Knight look like with his pants off and who would you be dating when you were in your (gulp) late 20s. But they are around, and they are fast and attentive and when you do grown up things like work a career-job and tend to the home-stead and milk the cows and paint the barn; sometimes all you have time for is some simple ant-type guy that comes over once in a while with a picnic dinner and wants to watch season one of Beverly Hills 90210 on DVD all night long.

But you know, there are only 22 episodes of 90210 season one and at some time you are going to have to stop watching 90s serial dramas and decide where to go from here. With ants, there really isn’t much choice. Ants do what ants do. Have you ever watched an ant? I mean, really watched one? I have. Extensively. The when, where, why how and really why of that are fodder for a lengthy psychiatrist visit. But, I digress. Just trust me; I have watched my share of ants. When they eat some poison; they continue their little job. The keep moving that little crumb of pita bread along the designated path until their knees start to give out. And they keep trying to go, wobbly knees and all. Then their breathing starts to become labourous. They start falling down in exhaustion and yet they keep getting up and continuing towards their goal line slow and arduously. Sometimes they make it. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they literally die trying to bring that crumb home.

Wouldn’t it be smarter to just head home and drop the pita bread? Well, an ant’s brain doesn’t work that way. It will continue on the path even though the path is going nowhere slowly. It is sad and a little, tragic. But I have little sympathy for the ant (Except that he was poisoned; that is the worst way to kill an ant; but that’s not the point). The ant is so stuck in his ways. He won’t budge from his mission. I am ant: love me or lump me!

So I’m putting it out there: single guys in their late 20s are soooo ants. Stubborn in their resolve to do thing a certain way and to keep on a path that is both uninspired and endless. The ant will continue in the relationship that sees no future and will do so through bouts of un-returned phone calls; messy, loud arguments and passionless sex.
The Ant has a high threshold for pain and abuse. He will withstand the wishy-washy behaviour of flighty and overscheduled girls. He will always be around. Because he has his eye on the goal. Wobbly knees, respiratory problems, heart attacks et al.: he just wants to score. Even if the goal is ugly; like it squeaks through the knee pads of the goalie and he has to mow her over just to get close to the net. That’s his goal. The ant would never be awarded the Lady Byng trophy for sportsmanlike conduct, if you know what I’m saying.

Okay, okay. Enough with the creepy sex metaphors and ant-bashing. What is my point, you ask? Well, my point is simple. Time is running out. We are not getting any younger. So if a relationship is going nowhere; don’t be a poisoned ant crippled by asphyxiation. Get over it. Move on. The perfect match must be out there somewhere, right? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know one thing. You won’t find him by staring at ants all day.

Somebody please help Britney Spears!

2007-02-20T10:32:00.000-08:00

What can I say about my girl, Britney? Obviously, something is not right. Obviously she is unhappy. Obviously she is crying out for attention. I choose to believe, and jab and joust me if you must, but in my heart of hearts I believe that this is just a phase. Postpartum depression, maybe? A drug problem? Probably. Maybe she is a lesbian. Okay, that would be weird. But if she needs to gyrate naked with bull dykes and shave her head to be comfortable and happy, so be it. You hear that, Britney, be a part-time lesbian if that is what you want! ( I can’t fathom the notion that she is a full-fledged lesbian; that is just too weird. She was like the iconic teen dream for like 5 years!) Just work though all your shite Brit Brit and please come through on the other side as happy and not so…messy.

I think she is in desperate need of help. Where are all her celebrity friends, now? Justin? Madonna? K-Fed? Even Paris bailed on the sinking ship that is Britney Spears. She needs some real friends and family and fans to pull her back from the brink and get her the help she needs.

It seems like she has delved from reality and gotten lost in the camera flashes and stalkerazzi. As an amateur psychologist with a deep connection to the real Britney Spears, I would say she is showing clear signs of Michael Jackson Syndrome, or MJS. She is detached from her public persona and is unable to understand why people are incensed and worried by her recent actions. She views her actions as unreal and doesn’t fathom the consequences. This is usually brought on my super-stardom ( see orginal diagnosis Michael Jackson and later diagnosis Whitney Houston); a loss of personal connection to loved ones and family members (see Michael Jackson) and an irrational case of low self-esteem. The only treatment, I, a professional celebrity psychologist can recommend, is complete and total retreat from La La Land. ( see moderate success stories: Michael Jackson – Dubai; Whitney Houston – Atlanta).

I really believed a comeback was eminent when she Fed-Xed K-Fed; but it seems the problems with dear Brit Brit lay deeper than it seemed. Unfortunately, it seems like 2007 will not be the crowning year for Ms. Britney Spears. She needs more than just a hit album to bring her back from the edge. She needs therapy; she needs a detox; she needs to leave California all together.

I really hope Britney gets it together soon. She was so fun and cute and real. Now she has become this weird caricature of herself that I’m she barely recognizes half the time. I believe she can do it. She is a fighter and she is nice and she is still only like 25. If she puts her mind to it; she can beat this, too and come out on top; where hopefully Justin Timberlake will be waiting for her.

P.S. I love you HD!

2007-02-19T12:43:00.000-08:00

Dear Home Depot:
Thank you for building your soul-sucking monstrosity on the idyllic grounds where my love for bargain shopping was born, K-Mart. K-mart was where I used to watch my 11-year-old friend ingest a four-pack of O Henry bars after school. K-mart is where I bought my first, and hopefully not my last, pair of black acid-wash jeans ( thank-you Gloria Vanderbilt!) K-mart is where I perfected my Ms. PacMan skills. K-Mart is where I bought my first pair of boxer-shorts for a boy (Thank-you Joe Boxer happy face boxers you helped cement a relationship of late night phone calls and furtive note passing in cadets into a solid two week romance). But you know, I’m all for progress; So I didn’t care when the spot formering belong to K-mart turned into the spot occupied by Zellers and that turned into the current home of Home Depot.

You are cunning and shrewd; I will give you that Home Depot. You are big and bold and have very high ceilings and big huge doors that open up for tiny people to walk through. But that is all part of your plan, isn’t it? You make everything so big that people assume they are getting a deal. $30 for a coat rack? Well, this is Home Depot, so it MUST be a good deal. There are no service people around; so that must mean the cost of hiring employees is cut to make the products cheaper. Right? WRONG! Oh, so, so, wrong. That cost goes into their fat pockets. Their fat pockets that continue to plump away while the naïve home renovators try to deduce what exactly is the difference between a seesaw hinge and a teeter hinge (I kid you not, two ‘official’ names for two very different types of hinges at the blood-sucking HD).

But you know what Home Depot? Despite my distaste for your conglomerate, big-box marketing plan; I cannot resist you. You are a big, overpriced eyesore; but you are open late, have almost everything I need; have those convenient automatic checkouts (that give cash-back! Sweet), and offer me spacious roaming grounds to buy more overpriced, over-ambitious tools and project kits that will never make any sense but at least you have a good return policy!

Home Depot, I know you are bad. You are the Wal-Mart of home renovations. But, I just can’t seem to get enough. You give me hope that my place will one day come together. You let me saw things and I don’t even have to buy them if I make ‘a mistake.’ You let me take as many paint samples as I want and poke and nudge as many displays as I please. You let me play on the dream computer a I build my model kitchen. You let me pretend I am the pizza delivery guy knocking when I am deciding which door I want.

You made me love you, and I hate myself for it! Home Depot, I wish I could quit you! But I can’t so, I’ll see you tonight!

XOX

Anna Nicole Smith (1967-2007)

2007-02-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

What can I say about Anna Nicole Smith that hasn’t been said already, a million times, in a million different ways? Truthfully, nothing new. She was a trainwreck. She was cunning. She was a bimbo. She was a shrewd business woman. She was a success story. She was ladled with numerous setbacks. She was a walking, talking, breathing contradiction. She was what America loves, a triumphant success story. But she was plagued by her past; her demons, that I am sure not even Entertainment Tonight will ever fully comprehend.

She was a woman full of gusto and life and exuberance. She craved attention; from anyone and everyone; even if most of the time people were laughing at her. So what? She joined in on the fun and laughed right alongside them.

She was trashy and didn’t mind showing it. She embraced her roots and histrionics and tangled web of weight gain, death, bizarre behavior and numerous affairs with a non-challant air of indifference. Anna Nicole always seemed like she was part of an inside joke that nobody else was privy to.

Whether she was looking for sugar-pie on Halloween for her reality show, the Anna Nicole Show, or asking millions of viewers if "You like my booody?" on the American Music Awards; it always seemed like she was pulling one over on the entire world.

I think the first time I noticed Anna Nicole Smith was when she got that Guess Jeans campaign in 1992. Her resemblance to Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield is what got her the gig. She was a refreshing change from the bland and personality-free Claudia Schiffer-types.

I wouldn’t really say I was a fan of ANS. But I definitely was aware of her antics and setbacks. (Who wasn’t?) But her missteps and tragedies became greater and greater in severity. Her trials were no longer funny or bizarre but incredibly sad and tragic. Especially posthumously, you can’t help but feel some compassion for her misguided and anguished soul. She was funny and crazy but underneath it all she was unhappy and alone. And it’s so sad and morbid when all these random details of her private life are coming out of every corner. I can't even pay attention anymore. It is too weird and unreal and sad.

Maybe it is a little skewed to say that Anna Nicole was an icon. That is something that remains to be seen. The more bizarre stories that come to fruition following her death the greater the myth and conspiracy stories become. The greater her persona becomes. Maybe in death she will be able to emulate her idol, Marilyn Monroe. Like Marilyn she died too soon; immortalized and sexualized forever at 39.

Her story, ultimately, is a tragic one. All the money and weight loss and success she achieved led her only into deeper water with more sharks waiting to take advantage of her. She was unhappy. She was married, with a newborn daughter and buckets of money but she was still unable to reach happiness. I can barely keep up with all the creepy new developments and innuendo being spouted off daily regarding her life and death. (Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Husband? What!!!! Frozen sperm from her dead octogenarian husband? What!!!)

All these random and gross facts are leading us further away from the simple truth. The rags to riches story of Anna Nicole Smith is over. She is dead and leaves behind a young daughter and hundreds of people fighting for a piece of her money.

I should be FROM ROLLING STONE!!!!!

2007-02-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, while I am blabbing on about MTV reality; I can not help but announce my thorough disgust for I’m from Rolling Stone. In this reality show, a group of eager music-lovers work as interns at Rolling Stone magazine. Now, I understand this is Rolling Stone, a magazine that sold it’s soul for a covershot of Jessica Simpson in her underwear claiming she was America’s hottest housewife. Whatevs. It is a stale music tabloid with one foot in the grave; but it still reigns as the most popular music mag in the world. It still the magazine where Kurt Cobain first proclaimed his love for Sonic Youth which led Kim Gordon and the boys into a higher tax bracket in a matter of minutes. It may not be the coolest magazine on the block anymore; but it’s still pretty fricking cool. Which is why it leaves me with such a sour taste in my mouth to see all these low-rent writer-wannabes foul and fumble their way through the greatest opportunity of any writer’s life.
None of them have been to journalism school. Three of them have lost their notebooks in the two episodes I’ve watched. Even the editors are like "They seem to be having problems adding quotes into their articles" WHAT? How is that even possible?

I’ll tell you how: Because they are all pretty-boy losers that are exploiting the one ounce of integrity that was left in music journalism. First of all, doesn’t it seem a bit retarded to have a reality TV show about a magazine. People watch on TV a show about putting together something we are supposed to READ? Okay, so that’s dumb. Then, the fact that they can’t write. That’s dumb. Then the fact that they go to all these free concerts and meet all these awesome artists and all they can do is fight with each other. Okay that is beyond dumb.

I mean if one of these schmucks actually ends up working at Rolling Stone how is the fact that he or she mooned the camera or didn’t know who George Clinton was going to effect their repertoire with artists and the readers? It’s not good.

Watching this show, makes me realize that so many people have such great jobs and they have no talent to back it up. Not Fair. I should be working at Rolling Stone; or NME, or Jane Magazine or Seventeen or Tiger Beat.

Dancelife is my new teen dream...actually they are not even teens so I don't have to feel guilty.....

2007-02-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

There’s a lot of things I’ve wanted to blog about lately. The new job; the wait staff at John’s Place’ the paint guy at General Paints; the leaked Arcade Fire album (can you say, GOLDEN?!!??), my white sockettes; my parents’ old house that somehow manages to creep out multiple groups of adults ingesting copious amounts of illegal pharmaceuticals. But before I get on to any of that, stuff. I really have to talk about what’s really up: J.Lo’s DanceLife!

It is da bomb. I love it so much. Yes. Even more than Laguna, (maybe because I can picture myself as a struggling Puerto Rican dancer better than an over-privileged, rich, beauty queen). It is the best show. The music is sooo good, ( which by the way, includes a theme song by Young Love who I heard about 100 years ago and saw open up for Lady Sovereign). Like the music is undeniably good. So good that I spent a good 60 minutes of time at my new "high-pressure" job trying to get some track listings for each episode. To no avail, I might add. But the show is awesome.

Not only are there bitchy gay boys (Hi Blake, you sooo belong in the washroom line-up at celebrities complaining about how "like No one is here tonight,"); but there’s the resident heartthrob ( Kenny, dumb your girlfriend in the Pussycat dolls and go out with Nelly Furtado; you know she wants you. Don’t worry, her high-pitched hysterics will grow on you); the underdog ( Nolan, I can’t believe you didn’t get that job with MJB; your life is NO MORE DRAMA) and… well, there’s some chicks too but they are kind of boring so whatevs.

Everyone should watch this show. I don’t care if the Canadian guy is bitchy. He is hot and a great dancer. I don’t care if Kenny has this creepy South Boston accent. He is hot and a great dancer. I don’t care if Nolan is a drug addict. He is hot and a great dancer.

Do what’s good for you. Watch Dance Life. It’s like Laguna except the people are coloured and they shop at Forever 21 instead of Abercrombie & Fitch.

I'll be your Dreamgirl, boy........

2007-01-29T09:20:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am a bit late on the hype machine. Actually that’s not true. I was first on the Dreamgirls bandwagon but I have finally seen the goods to back up my claims. Dreamgirls is the best movie ever and Jennifer Hudson is a star.

The best thing about Dreamgirls for sure is the music. Crazy black-girl hysteronics abound and I loved the sista attitude that Effie throws around like yesterday’s news. I loved it when she pretends to get all DIVA on everyone because Martin Luther King Jr. has a record out which is the recording of his famous "I have a dream" speech. Everyone is all scared of her but she is just kidding. It is too funny.

Of course, without a doubt the best part is when Effie gets kicked out of the group and dumped by her man and she sings "I’m not going." I had seen that part before, since my favourite computer techie sent me all the Jennifer Hudson solos to watch on my computer while I waited for Victoria to catch up with the rest of the world and get Dreamgirls in local theatres. And even though I have seen her sing that song like 100 times and I listen to that song on my mp3 player almost everyday, every time I hear it, I get chills. And in a big theatre, within the actual context on the real movie, I got loads of chills. The way her fingers quake when she is trying to hug her boyfriend; the way her legs are weak and she can barely walk as she is belting out this song, this song that represents all her struggles and weaknesses. It is amazing. Period. She is the best ever.

And Eddie Murphy? What? Eddie Murphy in a full 2 hour movie without cracking some kind of fart/diaper joke or donning a fat suit? ( BTW, Am I the only one who finds it kind of perverse that he is so into wearing fat suits in his movies? I’m just saying) He is so good. I mean I loved "My Girl likes to Party All the Time," but I had no idea he had all that soul in him. And maybe it’s just my doe-eyed adoration for all-things Dreamgirls, but he should really look into keeping that pompadour hairstyle going. He looks good. The pompadour is cool. Guys should wear their hair like that again. Strap a do-rag on that mofo and you are gangsta; remove and you are ready for your entrance on a Broadway musical stage.

Last and least, I suppose no exposition on the greatness of Dreamgirls can be complete without some mention of Beyonce. She was not as bad as I had expected. And in a lot of ways, her character demanded her to be mousy and bland. She did a good job of staying in the shadows as required and then coming out and taking centre stage. But even when she was centre stage she was no match for Ms. Hudson. So maybe she is eating sour grapes lately. But it must be hard to take when you are always used to being the one who receives the most accolades. ( nevermind that it’s your mom and dad managers that ochestrate it to be like that all the time). I think Beyonce did a good job. And I liked it how as she was getting more and more famous her skins was looking lighter and lighter. Very subtle.

a month.

2007-01-15T14:20:00.000-08:00

I can’t believe it has only been a month. A month. It feels like years. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. One month ago at this time, I was working my last day at Space4lease. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t exactly call it working. To be exact, I think I was trying not to grimace while my former-boss was trying to feed me these random porkballs at this weirdo Dim Sum restaurant in the Burrard Skytrain centre.

A month ago, I was counting bruises on my legs and cuts on my arms from a random string of accidents; that I still am not sure wasn’t covertly masterminded by the Victoria Tourism Board, or even more likely, the small but loyal contingent of my high school posse that still lurks around the still waters of Victoria.

Today, I am counting letters and punctuation marks and the multiple disciplines within the broad subject of Engineering. (BTW, there are way too many disciplines within Engineering; somebody needs to reign those boys in, it’s ridiculous!)

A month ago, I spent my nights traipsing through the cold winter air waiting for buses and skytrains rushing from workouts to dinners with friends to a shambled apartment to watch teen t.v. Today, I spend my nights, driving through sludge in my heated car, strolling leisurely from workouts, to dinners with friends, to midnight drives to discuss last week’s episode of Degrassi the Next Generation and drunken debacles from weekends past. Then I come home and watch t.v. in the nice, clean, warm abode of my mama.

Okay, maybe it isn’t the greatest staying at my parents’ place for the last month. There have definitely been some bumps along the way. But they are leaving for India this weekend and I know I will miss them. Their leaving also means another thing (no not party at my place….try as I might to fight it, I am not 15 anymore). My place needs to be fixed. Asap. Gordon Head is not where it’s at. It is too far! I want to move into my own place and get my stuff out of storage. I miss my bags. I miss my blankets. I miss my purple stretchy belt. I miss my CDs. Sniff, sniff, sniff.

But renoing is not as easy to do as it is to spell. I suffered my first and hopefully only callous this weekend from trying to pry hinges with like 30 layer of paint on them of the kitchen cabinetry. Anyone who ever said I was weak had better step off now. I am strong. Yesterday I even carried a sink. Yeah, a sink; in fact, it was a double sink. Ohhhhh yeah!!! (Picture me talking like Macho Man Randy Savage and raising my arms, excuse me, my guns, like the champ, here).

So yeah that’s my life. Exciting and new. I still miss Vancouver. Sometimes, I will catch myself calling Vancouver home to someone by mistake, out of habit, I guess. But things are getting exciting here. Everything’s working out great so far. At times, I feel overwhelmed. There are so many new people to meet, new things to do and I still want to come and share everything with all my peeps in Vancity and all my old peeps in Victoria. And I will. I promise. I love you long-time.

The. Best. News. Ever.

2007-01-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Mark my words, my girl is back.
2007 is the year of Ms. B.S. ( does that sound weird??)

Promise of a New Day

2007-01-02T19:46:00.000-08:00

"And so time over time
What will change the world
No one knows
So the only promise
Is a day to live, to give
And share with one another"

-Paula Abdul Promise of a New Day

For some reason, this New Years feels a bit different. Now, granted listening to the black sheep of my CD collection that has been left to fester in my parents' basement since 1998 could have something to with my curious mood and my tendancy to quote obscure Paula Abdul lyrics ( is there really any other kind?); but really I think it is more than that.

For the first time in a long time, I find myself looking forward to the upcoming year. I'm not looking back thinking of everything that was not accomplished in 2006. I'm not feeling particluarly old, pathetic, and unmotivated ( which is kind of weird considering I am jobless and living in my parents' basement).

I don't really want to jinx myself or anything but I have a feeling 2007 will be pretty great!
I will be going to Glastonbury; some of my closest friends are getting married; I will be living in my very own grown-up place, and I'm sure lots of other cool things will happen as well!

So here's to a year full of promise and excitement and changes that for once, I am NOT dreading!

Welcome to 2007!!!!!

Best Albums of 2006

2006-12-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

Continuing with the trend of not doing much in these post-Christmas, pre-New Year's creepy days, I have decided to create my own list of the best albums of 2006. I am nothing if not opinionated. Even more than that, my opinion is right, and if you don't agree with me then your opinion is wrong. I kid, I kid!

10. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

Most people won't give this CD a break. Sure, it had that once-catchy-but-then-super-annoying-because-it-was-played-every-30 seconds-on-some-radio-station-in-North-America, "Crazy", but the rest of the CD is also wicked. I could due without the retro 90s psychedelia motif and the weird kitschy costumes they wear when they perform but the beats and the random lyrics are golden.

9. Morrissey - Ringleader of Tormentors

Maybe it is being back in my mom's basement over the holidays that reminds me of all my just-under-the-surface teenage angsty feelings or maybe it is just a fluke of nature that this happened to be one of teh CDs that I didn't leave in storage; but I have recently rediscovered this gem and I remember why those kids in the back corner of photography class wore those long trenchcoats and wore their hair in those cringe-worthy pompadours. Morrissey. When you want to write bad break-up poetry or comtemplate why God is so cruel to you and no one else, this is your CD. "You Have Killed Me", is one of my favourite songs ever.

8. M. Ward-Post War

Okay so I haven't actually bought this CD. But I am obssessed with M. Ward. A quick Internet search will prove that any music critic worth his salt is also obsessed with him. His music is stripped-down, melodic and beautiful. Forget Sufjan; it's all about M. Ward now.

7. Regina Spector- Begin to Hope

Okay, so maybe I didn't get into Regina Specktor until after I heard she was dating my boyfriend Julian from the Strokes, but please don't hold that against me. She is sooo cool. Her lyrics are like little stories; she actually talks about more than her broken heart (shocking)! My favourite song is "Fidelity", I probably listen to it almost everyday still, like 3 months later!

6. Jay z - Kingdom Come

Most hip hop heads label this album as sub-par; but that is an unfair rating. It's like after Michealangelo did the Sistine chapel or his statue of David; I'm sure people were like " oh this painting of this fruit bowl is no Sistine Chapel" Well, you know what? There can only be one Sistine Chapel and there can only be one The Black Album. While I will admit the first single, "Show me What you Got," was less than stellar; the rest of the CD is great. I love the new single, "Lost Ones," and "Beach Chair" featuring Chris Martin of Coldplay will be a cult classic.

5. The Dears - Gang of Losers

I have loved the Dears since No Cities Left came out in 2003. "Expect the Worst/cos she's a Tourist" was like the song of that summer for me. So when I found a leaked copy of Gang of Losers this year I was so happy. This is a CD that sounds different everytime i hear it. After every listen I discover some new clever anecdote that I didn't get before. They are so great and I vow that I will see them live in 2007!

4. Justin Timberlake-Future Sex/ Love Sounds

You know I don't really want to like Justin Timberlake. I still have a grudge from that "Cry me a River" video where he called out my girl, Britney. Then there war that whole Super Bowl debacle of 2004 where he left Janet Jackson hanging, literally. But you know what? I can't help but like him. He's hot! He's funny ( did you see SNL?)! He's talented. He's well-dressed! He can dance! He can really do no wrong! Even when he does do wrong; he goes back to doing what he does best which is create the best dance songs! "Chop me Up" featuring the Three Six Mafia is my favourite song. I hope it is his next single.

3. The Decemberists-The Crane Wife

The Decemberists are the songwriters every English Major doing nothing with their degree wants to be. Listening to the Crane's Wife is how I try to retain my rapidly fading books-smarts. Their songs are epic and swirling and beautiful and grand. Now I am gushing. Am I gushing? I love this CD. I would name my first-born the Crane's Wife if it wouldn't cause an irreversible identity crisis for my child if it was a boy. If you ever feel like you are getting dumb from too much Youtube or reading too many US Weeklies at the gym; listen to the Crane's Wife; lie down and really listen. I swear when you wake up the next morning you will feel smarter and a bit melancholy.

2. Lady Sovereign-Public Warning

This CD never lived up to the immeasurable hype from Def Jam.Maybe because all these songs were already available and released in the United Kingdom over a year ago. But it is still awesome. She is like a michevious little minx and her lyrics are totally funny and tongue in cheek. Maybe she is a drunk and will be kicked off her label soon; but she puts on a fun show and her song "9-5" was like my theme-song for the last year and a half.

1. The Killers-Sams Town

Was there any doubt? The Killers are the best band ever; even with their scraggly facial hair and Brandon Flowers' grandiose comments on the music industry. Say what you want about their posturing and personal lives but Flowers can write a sing-a-long pop song like no ones' business. There's nothing I like better that singing along at the top of my lungs to "Why do I keep on Counting" and "My List."

Post-Christmas Creepiness

2006-12-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

There's something about the time between Christmas and New Year's that has always given me the chills. There's a stillness coupled with latent worries, overstress and unrealized holiday cheer that really creeps me out. There's still cheer inside of us all but nobody knows quite when to use it; like the leftover Eggnog in the fridge; it's around and available to drink but do you really wants to be the one to test it and see if it has gone sour.

And believe me, my "Eggnogg" is about ready to turn.

I like Christmas. A lot. I always have. But the brightly coloured decorations, fresh baked goods, and the constant barrage of family and friends gathering to do no more than bestow good wishes and cheer and merriment onto one another loses its appeal sometime between the first yearly re-telling of my family's first Canadian Christmas and the unwrapping of the last present on Christmas morning.

I would prefer a condensed Christmas; maybe three days in total instead of the de rigeur of celbrating "the holidays" from Thanksgiving until the end of the year. Come to think of it, I wold prefer to move Christmas to April. The end of the year is busy enough, without having to deal with Christmas on top of everything.

But alas, this is the way it is. Damn you Roman Calendar system!!! So we must deal with these next few days with great care. Look around you. People are tense. They are frazzled. They are hurried. They are broke. They don't want to be the one to snap. But they could. That one accidental shove; that one brisk brush past could turn their holiday cheer into horror.

Horror through a glare that can break glass. Horror through a dirty muttering under their breath that could make a sailor blush. Horror that is so sickeningly fake sugary sweet that even the brutal barrage of anger would be better. These are the horrors taht lurk around every corner over these next few days. If you are honest with yourself you know that you have been both the victim and the perpetrator of these horrors in the past. But don't be too hard on yourself.

You are a victim of your surroundings and everyone's Eggnogg has to turn sometime.

The. Funniest. Shite. Eva.

2006-12-19T12:22:00.001-08:00

Get away from me Lil Jinx!

2006-12-13T08:24:00.001-08:00

Have you met my recent companion, Lil Jinx? She has been with me for almost a week and I believe she has overstayed her welcome. She is crimping my style not to mention endangering my life!
I want her out! Keep her away from me! I have hosted her long enough! She has caused enough disasters to last me a lifetime.
Everyday since her unexpected arrival last Thursday, has been a swift race against Death.
Thursday she tickled me under the arms on teh bus and caused me to drop a gallon of paint on my foot, my left foot. That was her idea of a welcome wagon.
On Friday she scared me by jumping out from behind a chair and caused me to somehow break a huge glass frame and then get a million tiny bits of glass in my knee, which I had to pick out with tweezers, tweezers.
On Saturday, she entered my body and caused my lungs to almost collapse due to over inhalation of paint fumes.
On Sunday she slicked the stairs at the Club Monaco on Robson and made my fall flat on my bum and cause a huge scene in the store.
On Monday she got my finger trapped in the closet door.
Yesterday, she gave me indigestion ( if you know what I mean) from smelly alcohol-filled cheese dip at SIP.
Well, enough is enough.
Lil JINX get away from me!!!
GO HOME!!

Gonna Crash a Party!

2006-12-07T13:21:00.000-08:00

Cami is my hero!

Christmas, New Year's, My Birthday! Oh My!

2006-12-06T13:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I wish time would stand still; or better yet: REWIND! I am not ready for today to be December 6th!
That means only 15 more sleeps until Christmas! That means only 20 more sleeps until New Year's Eve! That means only 26 more sleeps until my birthday ( cue death march here)

****Note: please do not render this rare inclusion of numbers as an invitation to remark on my lack of mathematical skils. I'm makinga point, here!

Where did November go?
Where did time to pack and move go?
Where did time to say Bye to all my Vancouver peeps, go?

So promise to still love me even if it seems like I've dropped off the face of the Earth for a while. I promise, I love you long time!

Rolling with my Hommies (homos)

2006-11-29T08:24:00.000-08:00

So a few weekends ago my friend david had an art show. It was an art auction really. A silent auction, very sophisticated. tres edgy, if you will.

As you can see, it was a very, very classy affair. We keeps it reals, yo.

Behind us is the photo I won, Number 7 with the three eyeballs. It is soooooo edgy.
Is it just me, or should I have taken that damn scarf off at some point in the night? Also does my hair look more liek a wig made out of carpet or like I am the true mother of Suri Cruise?

This is me and my friend Holly, who recently got back from Argentina. She brought me back this edgy tee-shirt with the words "Preety heart" on it. That's right. That's right. In Argentina, they know where it's at. Preety heart is like this hard-core edgy label out there. I think it all must stem from grade 8 when I was tutoring this ESL kid named Miguel and then he went back to Brazil after one semester. I think he loved me. I think then he moved to Argentina. I think then he started this clothing line to pay homage to his unrequited love for me. I think I am full of shit.

Things that go Bump in the Night

2006-11-25T06:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not usually a scaredy cat. Usually I like having the place to myself. But sometimes. Sometimes, like right now when I should be sleeping in until a glorious 11 am or noon, sometimes, tiny noises wake me up with a start and automatically make my heart start racing and tears spring to my eyes.

Lately, I have been super paranoid that someone is going to steal my TV. Maybe it's because the TV is the only thing that is really mine in the living room. This week alone, I have run out to the living room three times in the middle of the night with cell phone in hand ready to dial 911 to keep cracked-out theives from stealing my prized possesion. There really is no logic to my logic in teh middle of the night.

At least today I managed to get like 4 hours sleep. At least I have refrained from phoning any of my friends crying hysterically about how the winds and the sounds of the rain and the noisy way the people upstairs walk can be misconstrued as a burgular.

Dead Bodies Everywhere!

2006-11-20T15:50:00.000-08:00

A wise woman once said to me when I told her I was going to happily trot off to the Body World 3 exhibit at Science World, “I don’t want to hear anything about it. I don’t want to discuss it. I don’t agree with it at all,” To you, oh wise woman, I say step away from your screen. You do not want to follow me down this road. Believe you me.

On some level, maybe I wish I had blanketed the whole hoopla over the Plastination fascination as weirdo and never given another thought. Things would have been easier. My dreams would have been unmarred by the images of 14 dead babies in various stages of development. My mind wouldn’t be askew with malicious conspiracy theories involving government cover-ups, Nazi Germany and alcoholic physicians getting kickbacks in return for cadaver paperwork “misplacement.” Don’t even get me started on the mini-dramas that enraptured my mind when I began pondering the symantics involved when these plastinized statues, once free-thinking, vital and functioning human beings told their loved ones that they wanted their bodies to be used not for finding a cure for ALS or Lupus or even donating their skin to burn victims but to be sliced and diced as an op-ed art piece for the layperson to see what their insides look like and more importantly for 8-year old girls to giggle and point and learn the spelling of the word PENIS. Who said honour was dead?

I guess it’s interesting. It’s not something I have ever really thought about, though. I know I have muscles, and ligaments and organs and whathaveyou underneath all these bells and whistles we call our human form. But what it really looks like and what it would like if my muscles were sliced open and spread out and then covered in plastic, is not something that really occupies my mind. I’ve got other things to think about. I figure the people that need to know how all those things work; well they probably went to school for that. They probably understand the human form better than I ever will from examining an eyeball and freaking out because the eyelashes fluttered due to the air conditioning system.

You know, I wouldn’t let my car mechanic make me a gourmet meal with his tool kit; so why do we let anatomist Gunther von Hagens use his doctoring abilities to cut people up and call it art?

Don’t even get me started on this guy, Gunther. A quick wikipedia search confirmed what I had already suspected. He’s a freak. He performed an autopsy on live television? For kicks? And I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s like part of some anti-abortion coalition. He scares me.

So I won’t say much more. I’m sure he has spies everywhere. But let this post serve as a record, neither I nor anyone in my family or posse will let Gunther plastinate our bodies into cages that will trap our souls forever is a weird limbo where annoying kids point at our genitalia and giggle.

The Nightmare is over

2006-11-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

I knew she would come to her senses sooner or later!

Click here for the greatest celebrity news since the birth of Suri Cruise!!!

Get ready for the biggest comeback eva!!!

I knew she would come back to her senses sooner or later!!!

Don't Hate!!!!!!

Hey You! Stop picking on me!

2006-11-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

Ever feel like the world is against you? Sure you have. We all have. But for me it's true! I Swear. Prospective bosses have told me I am unprofessional; unsuitable; unable; underqualified; unimaginative; undereducated, un-human basically. I hate it! Stop being so MEAN! I am a nice girl. Can't NICE thing happen to me? If I don't have the job, fine. So be it. But at least, at least leave me with my dignity. Don't "harsh on my mellow when i'm already on my way down, dude" as Dexter Reed said so eloquently in the classic flick, Good Burger.
I already have bruises from my fall from grace, please don't kick me anymore!
And while I'm at it, hello random walkers with umbrellas; Don't go under the awning and make me walk in the rain when I don't even have a hood on. That's MEAN!
And don't bump my bag so hard that it falls off my shoulder and I stumble. I have a big bag, yes. I know. But you have two eyes with which you, as an able-bodied human being, should be able to gage how much space is needed to walk by me and my bag without touching me. Don't Touch me! And if you do, Say Sorry!
And if I know you, Be Nice to Me. I am sick. And sensitive. Think about me. Love me. I love you. I promise. As long as you Stop being so Mean!

The End is Nigh

2006-10-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

Finally! After almost two full weeks of gagging on 12 gargatuan pills a day. It's almost over. I am officially only 12 huge pills away from the end. I have ALMOST completed my Wild Rose Cleanse. And it was really not as hard as I thought. Although I did slip on the weekend, ( damn you Smartpop PopCorn!) and maybe had a little too much from the protein column due to my addiction to coffee ( yeah, go figure! Wild Rose counts coffee in the protein column) I think I did pretty good. I lost some weight. I don't feel as sleepy as usual. My skin is a bit less splotchy. And most importantly, I've learned some very important lessons:

1) My Body is a temple.

2) Eating is not an activity. It should be boring and take a long time to make for it to be really healthy.

3) Peanut butter is not a good alternative to potatoe chips.

4) Chicken caesar salad is not a real salad.

5) Vegetables go rotten if you don't eat them.

6) If something says "No drinking alcohol," they probably also mean no smoking and no taking drugs also.

7) When you have eaten so many carrots that your fingers smell like soap and your computer screen has an orange ting to it, it's time to switch to cucumbers.

8) When all you've talked about for the lat 12 days is what you've eaten and your many and varied bowel movements, it's time for the cleanse to be OVER!

Winds of Change

2006-10-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

I've felt it inside of me, rumbling for the last three months or so. I felt it before, too. It's just become a part of life. That rush, that urge, the impulse to fuck everything and everyone. But then it passes. Then my Capricorn-ness comes back. I have become far too practical. But I still make bad decisions. Come on, that's part of what makes me preety. But in my old age, these changes are few and far between. I don't like hassle. I don't like conflict. Well, at least not anymore. But, i also don't like the thought of waking up one morning and going: "Oh shit, I am 30 years old and I haven't done shit." So hassle, heartache, regret and (even more) self-doubt: Here I come!

On the Mixed CD/Tape

2006-10-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

The first mixed tape I ever got was from an OLDER guy. You know one of those guys FROM THE NEIGHBOURHOOD. I never liked him or anything, not much anyways. I definitely thought he was INTERESTING. He had one of those hats with the plastic bird poop on it that said DAMN SEAGULLS; and I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I think the only reason he made me the tape was because I had brought my sister’s RAP TRAXX tape to school and was teaching everyone the rhymes of Young MC at recess.

On my walk home from school one day he handed me the homemade tape with a booklet of all the lyrics painstakingly written out by hand; no small feat considering they were all rap songs and had so many words in them. He just stuffed the tape and the booklet in my hand and ran off to soccer practice saying that he made me this. There were definitely no love songs on this tape. I mean he was at least in 8th grade and I was way younger. There was no “You invade my soul,” or “You jump, I jump.” But there was magic in that tape and magic in the next two months as I memorized every lyric and wore the tape down to its shreds. There was magic when he would quiz me on my lyric memorization afterschool and philosophize on the finer points of Boogie Down Productions and Digital Underground. I’m not sure why he picked those particular songs. I’m sure I never will know.

I'm really not into fashion or craze

Just the one who pays and how soon I get a raise

You're probably in a daze, acting out of sympathy

Wrote a couple of rhymes and think that you can get with me

Boogie Down Productions – Poetry.

There's always one bitch in every town

Every time you see her, her panites are down

Always dressed fresh in the ladies' wear

She sports the weave instead of hair

2live Crew – We want some pussy.

Okay maybe his motives were a bit QUESTIONABLE. But still as a young girl unwise in the ways of boys beyond hair pulling and skirt lifting; this mixed tape cemented the relationship between music and experience for me. I can never hear 2Live Crew without thinking of those DAMN SEAGULLS.

Since then my history with the mixed tape and its successor the mixed CD, has been a bit more straight-forward.

You know, the song from that time we…… and the song that was playing the first time we…… this song is about a girl who is way too…… this song is about a guy that is so lucky to be with a girl like you that is so ………. Where the originality comes in, I think, is the inscription and the details. It is all about the details. The CD case. The notes. The computerized graphics. That is the extra effort. Not only are there cuddle points for the Mixed CD itself but any garnish around the CD and extra bits you added or meaning given to explain why certain songs were chosen is like extra chocolate sauce on a super-duper sundae with the works.

The beauty of the mixed CD is its uniqueness. This mixed CD is made for YOU. See it has your name on it! See there are songs that talk about things we talk about! See there are songs by bands we like! You can’t make a bland mixed CD, well you can but you can’t make a bland mixed CD in the sense of a guy giving a girl a mixed CD.

Or so I thought.

Recently I was the surprise recipient of what I believe to be a social anomaly. A mutant in the pool of guy-girl presents. A deviant in the natural progression of music acting as a mirror for relationships. I think I received a mass-produced Mixed CD. I know. I know it sounds like an oxy-moron. But it’s true. A faceless mixed CD with my name and a few cute notes that were probably provided by mad-libs. What kind of person takes something as sacred as the MIXED CD and turns it into some kind of legal Rohypnol?

A cunning person, that’s who. A cunning person who can zone on the girls that watch too much teen television and still want to be popular in high school and feed them exactly what they have been hungry for.

Who doesn’t relate to an Avril Lavigne song? ( Losing Grip)
Who doesn’t always want to be right? ( Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong- Spin Doctors)
Who hasn’t wanted a night to last forever? ( The Brilliant Dance- Dashboard Confessional)
Who doesn’t wish she could erase her past? ( No Lies, Just Love – Bright Eyes)
Who isn’t interested in just getting wasted? ( Nth Degree – Morningwood)
Who doesn’t want to run away and be rich and fabulous? ( Come Away with Me- Fabulous)

None of these songs scream PREETADELIC, you know. Well maybe Losing Grip but that’s a lucky guess. This experience has sullied my lofty perception of the MIXED CD and its significance. Why not just stand on a street corner with a whole box of them and the first girl that recognizes half the songs becomes your girlfriend? GREAT. Soooo romantic.

My Girls Want to Party all the Time.

2006-10-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

Okay I may not be good at a lot of things: I can't whistle worth a damn; i can't ask the waitress/waiter to take back my food when she/he has mistaken my order; I can't wear heels for an extended period of time; I can't let someone finish a sentence if I know what they are talking about, etc. etc. But I can do one thing very well. Very, very well. I can party like a mofo. It's true. It's true. Not all teh time, mind you. Not when I am around people I don't know well. Not when I am on my period. Not when I am preoccupied with something or other. But when I'm on. It's on. You dig?

Here's some fun photos from Ella's birthday party last weekend and some random photos of us getting ready for teh Mariah Carey concert the weekend before.

The Mariah concert was so fun! Her voice was fabulous and despite our nosebleed seats, it was so fun. I was sucha dancing machine. In the words of Lionel Ritchie " I was Dancing on the ceiling" Not because I was so limber or anything but because our seats were so close to the actual ceilling. But whatevs. It was fun. I even got a Bootleg Mariah concert tee. That's right. That's right. Bootleg. I know. You don't have to say it: edgy.

The assignment was to WORK the mirror a la Tyra Banks. As you can tell, some of us have practised this before, some of us haven't and some of us are drunk.

EDGY

2006-09-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

Guess what is the number one, that's right, I said NUMBER ONE, Google ( not MSN, tee hee) result when you search for tres edgy.....

Go ahead, guess:

Your favourite!

I just want to thank my mom and dad, my sister, my fourth grade teacher Mr. Tomlinson.......

woot! Woot! Google says I am tres EDGY!!!!!

Somebody told me that you are my boyfriend

2006-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, I did it. I downloaded the whole new Killers album, Sam's Town at work. But whatever. I am still so going to buy it when it comes out next Tuesday. And plus, you can listen to the whoel album anywasy at www.mtv.com/theleak. I love it. Like seriously. I love it like how I loved Snow Patrol's Final Straw two years ago; I love it like I loved Coldplay's A Rush of Blood to the Head; I love it like I loved Lauryn Hill's the Miseductaion of Lauryn Hill. Yeah. It's true. I love it that much. It is that good.
Hot Fuss was a great album. It was infectious and new. Catchy. But it was a bit more timid. Lyrically, it was a lot of "I saw a guy who looked like a girl who looked like a ... yadda yadda yadda. " If the last CD, was Brandon Flowers whispering about things he saw on the playground; Sam's Town is Flowers announcing his musings from the mountaintop. Maybe they are not as cute anymore; and maybe they are kind of biting on the whole Baz Luhrmann aesthetic from 1996's Romeo and Juliet; but they still rock and are totally bringing thoughtfulness and irony back to music.

My Favorite song on the album is definetly My List. It is so pretty. There is this Gregorian choir lady singing in the background and it sounds so pretty. My favorite line is: "When your heart's not able/ and your prayers cannot save you/ Let me show you/Let me show you/ how much I care."

I know. I know. That line isn't so profound. But it is simple and sweet and it sounds really pretty when you atcually hear it. When I write it down, I'm like okay, Preety is like a crazy Philliopino teenager writing out song lyrics on her blog. ( Seriously is it just me or is blogger a hotbed for lonely romantic Philiopino teens that gush about Jesse McCartney and Panic at the Disco all day long??)

Whatever. I feel the need to digress into like a 13-year-old Phillopino girl some more and mention my other favorite sappy lyrics because I was listening to the sad songs playlist on the mp3 player on my way to work.

Bright eyes - Lover I don't have to Love Favorite lyric:

I want a lover I don't have to love

I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk

And where's the kid with the chemicals?

I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full

I need some meaning I can memorize

The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

Okay. I realize that was like a whole verse. But it is a rare occasion that I can remember something properly and i want to take full advantage of it. But I will admit that I double-checke the lyrics online just in case I was going to publish something that was so random that didn't make any sense.

Like remember when Billie Jean came out and he was like " The kid is not my son?" Well, I always thought it was "the chair is on my bum." Seriously for years. I would debate the authenticity of that lyric tooth and nail. I thought he was being ironic. As if he would be so obvious to directly answer his detractors in a form so plain as a song. Seriously.

Anyways, back to the Killers. My Favourite song is My List. But I also love this bonus track that is called "Where the White Boys Dance." I feel that is an ode to my imaginary hood, Misshapes. And Bling ( Confessions of a King) is a really, really pretty and sad song as well.

I have a feeling that this CD is going propel the Killers into like U2, Coldplay, Green Day status. And I saw them first! Well, maybe not the first person ever. But I saw them in 2003 when they were opening for Sam Roberts in Victoria. So I feel like we are really connected. On account of they have been to my hometown and stuff.

No Sugar and no Caffeine make Preety something something

2006-09-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

No Sugar and no caffeine make Preety something something.

go crazy?

Don't mind if I Do!!!

Note to self: it is not the best idea to start a no sugar and no caffeine cleanse when you are cold and sleepy. Decaf coffee tastes like poop. Sugar-free granola bars taste like poop. Feeling sleepy all day tastes like poop.

This cleanse is making me pre-occupied with poop.

The Lost Art of Storytelling

2006-09-18T10:34:00.000-07:00

I used to be one of them, you know. I was the life of the party. The go-to story-teller. Everyone gathered around, laughing, intently hanging on to my every word. Reliving life’s most amusing moments in a colourful anecdote that people remembered for years to come. People were always saying Tell Janice that story about the time you met Snow! Let’s hear the one about when you got stranded at the Chinese cemetery on Halloween Night! Tell that one about how you got hit with ricocheted bird poop at the Hippie Market again! That was my thing; my niche. I am an English Major for gosh sakes! I DO consider myself an Authoress. I am looking for a profession that allows me to tell stories for a living. But for the life of me, I can’t remember how.

I’m not sure why, how or when. But I’ve lost my mojo. It’s vanished quicker than a line of coke at the casa de Lohan. My stories have gone from producing howling hysterics to plodding, blubbering and the occasional awkwardly-long “Huh?” Remember that time I had that S & M twin? No? Well, yeah I had this twin and she was always wearing leather and people always mistook me for her. Great story huh? You know what this reminds me of? You know what this is totally like? Remember that episode of Family Guy where the baby was like being mean of something and then something totally random happened? Uh… yeah…..

I don’t know how to get it back. Mojo, Mojo where art thou, Mojo? Blame it on drugs. Blame it on my self-imposed isolation. But the real culprit is harder to shake than any of those vices. The real culprit behind by social stigmatism, my verbal retardation, I believe is my job.

S4L has done this to me. S4L has punctured my socializing and replaced my storytelling with the re-hashing of celebrity blogger news and images of New York indie kids being edgy. Here’s the thing about S4L. I don’t speak. Ever. I mean I say, “hey” “how’s it going?” “Good,” and “I’m going for lunch” a few times a day; but beyond that, it’s just me, my computer, my music and my Internet.

Slowly the repetition of keyboard strokes; the humming of my monitor and the buzzing of the florescent lights have captured my soul. The humdrum-osity of my office environment has captured my soul and that part of my brain that made me interesting; that made me an interesting and vivid storyteller. They stole that part of me so that I would be forever chained to this dungeon. Mute and dumb to the array of possibilities the world is offering me.

Well no more! I have been a social midget too long. It’s time to grow tall! Take back my personality! Take back my conversation skills! Take back my life!

What kind of person will you be vs. what kind of person are you?

2006-09-02T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've always thought of myself as a doer. You know one of those people that rises against THE MAN and stand up for what she believes in. I march in the marches; I sign the petitions; I sing the protest anthems loud and proud. But does that make who you are? Not really. Who you are is not what group you join; what rally you happen to stumble into; what petition you agree to sign. Who you are is really based on how you react in daily situations.

This last week, I have noticed random acts of kindness and chilvary and also have been guilty of standing by and watching as someone in need floundered in dispair.

Last Saturday, I was standing at a bus stop when an old man with an elderly person stroller totally fell face first on the pavement. This was a busy bus stop where many buses come to load and unload their passengers; so everyone saw. I was watching him get up slowly, thinking shoudl I go over there... When this guy, probably about 20 years old ran up; lost his place in the bus queue; and helped him. It was one of the quickest responsest I have ever seen to a stranger in distress situation. And the kid was very thorough. He walked the old man over to a bench; picked up all his things and even gave him some water from his water bottle. I don't know why but that image has stayed in my head for the last week.

Then the other day; I was walking home from the grocery store and a woman was riding her bike and her tire got caught on the edge of the sidewalk. She fell over her bike but was not hurt. But she made a loud noice and me and everyone else walking kind of just stopped and looked at her. But no one did anything. I didn't even ask if she was okay. Now in teh interest of fairness; I was carrying like 5 grocery bags very awkwardly as usual; and I had my head phones on and my purse was falling off my shoulder and she was a little on the sketchy side. And also, there was this other bike rider that was a guy and older than me; so if anyone should have checked on her it shoudl have been him. But still it has lingered with me.

Then there is the thing with my boss. Now it's not like he is harbouring fugitives or you know killing endangered species or anything. But he is rude and condescending and treats his employees like lab monkeys. For a whiel it seemed like I had escape his scrutiny with my one year of senority and all; but alas that too has passed. I am yet another communist trying to mooch off his hard earned profits; a little leech trying to suck out all his blood. He acts like I am always trying to get out of doing work; skimping on the job or slacking off in some as yet undiscovered way. Now i can hear you guys in my head snickering! Fine. I knwo I am not working at 100% capacity at all times; but I am the best worker he has ever had and he is so unappreciative.

But what can I say? What can I do? Should I confront him and let him know that almost every employee he's ever had has hated him? Or will I just stand by and watch as more and more employees figuratively fall over their bikes and not even ask if they are okay?

Sometimes I think it's my shyness that's stopping me from saving the World.

100 random things about ME!!!

2006-08-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

okay I decided to tag myself from kate's blog and write up 100 things about me. I hope I can make it.....

100. When I was in Grade 5 I was sold on the idea to change my name to Maxine because I hated Preet so much. I got the forms and everything but my dad wouldn't sign it. i really wanted everyone to call be Maxi. It's true, it's true. I thought in my innocent mind that preet feet would be far waorse than anything they could come up with to go with Maxi. yeah right!

99. My mom used to help me cheat to get my brownie badges.

98. I never peed or pooped in an outhouse throughout all my girl guide camping trips. One lasted for a full week.

97. I still listen to New Kids on teh Block. A lot. Especially My favorite Girl and Didn't I Blow ya Mind.

96. I have two tattooes but they are both on my back so I often forget about them.

95. If I have a daughter that doesn't let me watch teen tv with her and read her teen magazines, i will be crushed.

94. Wherever I go I leave a trail of curly black hair... from my head.

93. I suck on my split ends when I am bored.

92. I don't care what anyone says, I have a GREAT singing voice; and it sounds the best when I'm in the car or cleaning my house.

91. I hate tomatoes.

90. I love mexican food.

89. I cheated so many times the last year i was a "vegetarian."

88. Hangovers and cold Mcdonald's cheesburgers were my downfall.

87. If I wear something white; I will spill on it; no question.

86. The first thing I notice about a gut is his hair.

85. the last thing I notice about a guy is his butt.

84. Even if I had a million dollars i would still shop vintage. It wouldn't be Value Village Couture anymore; but I wold still look at upscale vintage stores.

83. I beleive that teh world of music-lovers is divided into two camps: the people whose lives were changed by Nirvana and teh people whose lives weren't.

82. I belong to the former group.

81. When Kurt Cobain died I lost almost all of my friends.

80. I still remember exactly what I was doing teh first time I heard Nirvana.

79. Good Live music is my favorite thing.

78. I hate using pens that don't make a clicker on top; they just have a cap.
ate packing a lunch; and rarely do.

76. I still miss my Neon.

75. I will always prefer to wear sneaks.

74. I 'm a lot less cool than you think.

73. Mark my words, raven Symone will be remembered as teh black Lucille Ball.

72. I cry all the time.

71. I think of my family as my kids, these days.

70. I plan to take my dad to see Canada win teh gold medal in hocket in 2010.

69. I plan to go to Glastonbury in 2007.

68. I plan to go see the World Cup in South Africa in 2010.

67. I use a lot of q-tips. not only do i clean my ears complusively but i use them for make-up; for cleaning under my nails; for cleaning my belly button.

66. This list is taking a lot longer than expected.

65. I don't like Starbucks coffee anymore. Their chai lattes are still da bomb though. But for lattes and coffe I have bene spoiled by cafe Artigiano.

64. I don't eat cookies anymore. i eat biscotti....

63. I often wonder if when I look back on my life, my "career highlight" will have been working at teh Grand Forks Gazette.

62. Sometimes, i think I must have been a gangsta rapper in another life.

61. The first movie I ever saw in teh theatre was Adventures in Babysitting.

60. Th last movie i saw in teh theatre was She's the Man.

59. I am no longer very ambitious.

58. I am always sleepy.

57. I would usually rather be shopping or watching soaps.

56. My favorite restaurant is Red Robins.

55. I still always wear little, white, 'sockettes.'

54. I have one sister.

53. Everyone says we look alike.

52. We don't see it.

51. Chicks always tell me i should straighten my hair.

50. Most guys I've dated say they love my mangly mane.

49. More importantly, I for teh most part, love my mini-afro.

48. I've abused my hair more times than i care to recount.

47. But I will.

46. I've cut my own bangs.

45. Badly.

44. I've used 1950s afro relaxing to get teh kink out of my hair.

43. That stuff burns.

42. And half your hair falls out.

41. BUt it works.

40. I cannot do my hair with scissors in teh immediate reachable area. Bad things are bound to happen.

39. I'm running out of things to say.

38. I tape General Hospital and beverly Hills 90210 every weekday.

37. I hope my kids end up watching GH.

36. I hope my son ends up in teh NHL and play for teh Canadian Oylmpic team.

35. I had a bagel for breakfast.

34. We're out of toliet paper at my house.

33. I started this list yesterday.

32. I'm going to buy the new Christina CD today.

31. I don't like silence.

30. I want to join a writer's club.

29. I want to try stripper -robics.

28. I want some new sneakers.

27. Some new jeans.

26. Some new bras.

25. A new jacket.

24. I wonder if this is cheating?

23. I don't care, this is hard.

22. I am at work, you know.

21. With actual work that needs to be done.

20. I think about moving to Victoria a lot lately.

19. I wish I lived in the Victorian times.

18. We would all wear corsets and take walks through teh Moores in teh moonlight... It would be sooo romantic.

17. If I got plastic surgery, I would get a hand transplant.

16. I am proud that I was a child of teh 90s.

15. I hate 80s.

14. Except 80s clothes. They are pretty cool.

13. Thirteen is my favorite number.

12. I won my first writing prize in grade four for a scary Halloween story I wrote about how October 31 was like Friday the 13th.

11. My Fvaorite Indian food is mutter panear.

10. I probably didn't spell that right.

09. I have a poster of Raven Symone by my computer.

08. I have a framed photo of me and my sister by my desk too.

07. And a philosophical quote a day calendar. That still is checked to July 27.

06. Today's quote says " To set up what you like against what you don't like- this is the disease of the mind. -Sengtsan.

05. I am a really bad typer.

04. My tummy is grumbling.

03. Even though I hate the ladies of the View, I miss watching it sometimes.

02. Once I buy a place, I will probably get involved in municipal politics.

01. I'm done!!!

00. Now you know 100 things about me!!!!

I tag Ms. Golightly because she is a talker if I ever met a talker and she probably will find this challenge a breeze!

Merci Montreal; Vous m'avez tres tres EDGY...

2006-08-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Oh Montreal. You have won me over. Seriously you cocky Quebecois with your self-assured, shoe-gazing style and effeminate posturing. That's edgy. I love it. I love it even though everytime I tell you that I am from Vanocuver you spend the next 20 minutes trying to tell me why Montreal is sooo much better than Vancouver. (Yes, It's true Adri, I told them I was FROM Vancouver, my sister even said i could!)

The trip was awesome! Awesome despite a few roadblocks including being charged $230 to spend like 40 minutes in a hostel that was basically this weird hippie chicks' house; in a room with a mattress on the floor; no sheets and a comforter that smelled like puke! SO being the divas that we are we high-tailed it outta there and cabbed it to the Holiday Inn. YOu know how we do:)

The next day we went to H&M and it was everything I'd ever imagined. And there were having a sale and there was their fall and summer stuff there. It was sooo awesome. i was in heaven. I think we spent at least 3 hours there. That night we went to this circus called Ola Kala and this one guy bailed like 6 times right in front of us. There was an opera singer and a wind tunnel and everyone was sitting on these recliners. It was very European......

The next day we went to teh big gay festival and met some gay olympians and had random dudes teaching how to dance like'sexy' gay guys and try to hit on us and chilled out to House music and watched a crazy drag show with an Edwards Scissorhands-esque Marilyn Manson drag queen doing Sweet Dream and a big black and fabulous drag queen stripping down everything and writhing on teh floor after her top accidently started falling off!

We did a lot of touristy things like we went to the Biodome and saw the cutest penguins and we went to the Museum of Contemporary Art and saw these cool exhibits about the evolution of teh music video and some Brian Jungen sneaker Native Masks.. SO cool. We took a morning boat ride along the St. Lawrence River and wandered through Old Montreal, Little Italy, The Village, the Latin Quarter; St. Laurent Boulevard... Did I mention my feet hurt?

All in all it was soo fun. I didn't get into TOOO much trouble; my sister and I didn't get on each nerves too much we didn't put ourselves into too much debt. And this trip really re-opened my love for vacations. Everyone should take vacations. All the time! screw working!

A building in Old Montreal. I could whip out my guidebook and telll you which one it is but I won't just look at it and saw it's old andf pretty....
these penguins look so fake, right? well theya re not! Stuffed penguins and reall penguins look surprising similar! but stilll soooo cute:)

The Biodome as seen from a yacht on teh St. Lawrence River. Okay , okay probably not a yacht. maybe it was more of a boat. But definetly closer to a yacht than a dingy!
Did I mention that everyone loves teh Gays in Montreal? They do. They even but huge medals on their banks for teh Gays. I even let some people think I was a lesbian to just fit in with teh gays!! How's that for a ROLE REVERSAL???
Me and my sister are such bad-ass hommies. Especially my sister. She's right out of East L.A. Look at her pipes!!!
Oh Mon dieu! Ou es la magasin H&M si vous plait? Merci, Merci . Mais, Nous n'avons pas d'argent maintenant!!!!

Au revoir Vancouver, Bonjour Montreal!!!!

2006-08-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

Au revoir mes amis..... J'ai aller etre EDGY. Vous entendez nous avons tres chic. oui. oui. oui.

Je t'aime entendu heures!!!
Bye!!! See y'all in a week:)

Awesome... I FUCKING shot that!!!!!

2006-07-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

I love the Beastie Boys!!!! I just bought their new live DVD Awesome I FUCKING shot that, and it rawks!!! It is awesome! I loved it! Even though I had alredy been to this concert when they came to Vancouver last Fall, seeing everything on DVD in Madison Square Garden was so cool. There were a lot of differences in the show from MSG compared to teh show here last year. In teh MSg show they come out in blue tuxedos and play their instruments and on teh DVD I can actually see what's happening which I could barely do from my nosebleed seat where I was kinda drunk, I think, at Pacific Coliseum.
I really love live DVDs, I realized. I mena I love live concerts more, obviously. But Live DVDS are sooooo good. Especially this one, because it does my favorite things. Take shots of fans dancing around craily to the music. It is so funny and so cool and they even show some shots of Ben Stiller getting down which makes me love him even more.

Of course, there is no doubt that the best rapper and funniest guy in Beatie Boys is Ad Rock. he has the best ryhmes ( If you try to mock me/You'll get knocked/ I'll stir-fry you in my wok) He has the funniest voice; he looks the youngest; he is the best dancer; and he is just about the best ever!!! I love the Beastie Boys 4-eva! Until I'm 95, I will be body-moving and drinking the Brass Monkey ( figuratively, of course!)

When your bored....

2006-07-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

Look at cats that looke like Hitler:

It does a body good:)
www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

Ma Famillia.

2006-07-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

"Govern a family as you would

cook a small fish - very gently"

This is a quote that I found in my 'philosophy-quote-a-day- desk calendar. It is an old Chinese proverb that is sometiems attributed to Confucius. Whiel I may not be the governor of my family; I definetly relate to this quote. Family is a complicated and layered beast and a lot of the times, I feel like mine is one of the most convoluted.
There are certain ways you act around different people, not being fake necessarily, but more like letting a certain aspect of your personality take over. Maybe you tell more dirty jokes around your friends; maybe you let your hidden interest in Oprah's Book Club hang out when your hanging with the girls. Or maybe like me, you revert to your 12-year-old self complete with a high-pitched baby voice when you kick back with the family.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. much. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that even if I went to India and built an orphanage for homeless AIDS babies my parents would still call me spoiled and talk about when I bought a $70 skateboard from Woolco( does anybody remember that place?) and barely rode it 3 times before abandoning it for a it for a banana board I got at a garage sale in grade 5. But you know, what? I'm okay with that.
Lately, I like my family. They are weird. yes. they mumble and rant and scream and yell at each other for no reason. But they have their moments. Whether it be my dad practising his signature supermodel catwalk walk with a little coaching from moi or my mom salivating over how she scored another microwave (which by the way, brings the household total to somewher around 4) for under $20 at a garage sale; they are interesting, to say the least.
I'm not really sure what the point of this post is. Uh, like ma famillia es bonne??? ( i know, I know, i just mixed spanish and French there, whatever).
I guess my point is my family is crazy and annoying. But they are also loyal and fun.

Photos

2006-07-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

A wedding to remember.....

2006-07-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was going to wait until I got our photos back to post about the wedding this weekend. Yes, I know. It's lame that I still actually get pictures developed. Even worse I use a disposal camera that probably ends up in a landfill. But what can you do, ya know? I will just add the photos later.

So it is now official. My bestest friend is now married. She's gotten hitched. Hooked the ole ball and chain. Tied the knot. Saddled in the horse and buggie. He's bought the milk and the cow ( wait that one's not nice! Who comes up with these marriage analogies anyway? They sure are misogynist) Anyways I am so happy for them!!! It was a beautiful wedding on Gabriola Island and despite a few obstacles, the wedding was spectacular. In fact a part from the Indian wedding I went to in grade four where I saw my first hermaphradite, ( an experience that shaped my psyche in more ways than i care to recount), I would say this was the best wedding I have ever been to. And despite my lack of married friends, I have been to a lot... Probably about 12-15 that I can actually remember and I wasn't attending as a kid.

Now I don't want to give a long, drawn out recount of the weekend so I thought it would be best to just recount my personal highlights:

Watching the sun go down on Friday night in a rainbow of beautiful colours that you only see when you leave the city. The horizon looked like it was literally just a few feet away from us.

Getting ready for the wedding listening to Cher's If I could turn back Time because that was the only remotely likable CD I could find. Drinking lots of white wine and trying to put on makeup and clothes. While it was fun, as the photos are beginning to show it probably wasn't the brightest idea.

Watching Amaya and crew put the last touches on her dress and hair, etc. while all the camera were snapping away. I felt like I was in a paparazzi line.

I have three words to say that will sum up the drunkeness of that night: giddity, giddity, giddity!!! oh yeah!! ( try saying that when you're drunk, I dare you!!!

The toasts were so sweet. I guess I haven't been to many weddings where I know the bride so well so I was blubbering like a complete loser, so much so that one of Amaya's in-laws came up to me and said I was a crying fool.... no kidding ( not exactly a news flash to anyone who knows me)

Late night heart to hearts in the dark. There's nothing like slurring "i love you, man" in the dark with the sounds of waves crashing in the background.

Definitely a weekend to remember! Who's turn is it next????

The Randomness

2006-07-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

Today I coulda died,ya know. Coulda died for my love of music, for my need for noise, for my lazyiness, for my inability to keep my mixed CDs from getting totally scratched. It's true. I had a flash. A flash like how people who hve a near-death experience talk about having a flash of their whole life run before them in fast-forward. Kinda. My flash was not my life. It was a memory. A memory that I share with many, of a young girl named Alice whose life was taken too early in the epic conclusion of Christopher Pike's Final Friends. Okay so maybe my near-death experience was not totally similiar to the fate of dear Alice. If memory serves correct, Alice was in the bath and kind of drunk and depressed when her boyfriend (?) came in and threw a toaster or a curling iron in the tub and she was electrocuted and died. I was in the bath as well. I too, was a little out of it having been jolted out of bed by the agonizing screams of Italian soccer fans who were cursing the French for drawing first blood and just being generally disoriented from my cold medicine and unrestful sleep. But no questionable boyfriend came and shocked me. I did it all by myself. See it all goes back to a lack of dollar-store AAA batteries to put inour shaower radio. Since that's not working, we have to use our little portable stereo which has a CD player on it. So I decided to listen to a CD, my Taking back Sunday mix because I had a weird dreamlast night where the singer Adam was in my bathroom and wouldn't comeout until I made him perfect samosas from scratch. However, my taking Back Sunday mix Cd is totally scratched so I had to move the CD player so then it woul start to skip, I would be able to skip the offending song. So I moved it to on top of the toliet and the cord was stretched across the bathroom. It was fine until I got out of the bath and my hair was dripping on the cord right where it enters the stereo and I was also standing on teh bathmat so I got this weird shock and kinda saw a spark. It was weird. But I am alive and, although I am still hacking and maybe have a fever, I will say well.

I have no idea what the point of this entry was. I guess I just really wanted to mention that I loved Christopher Pike and that his Final Friends books are what inspired me to be a writer. I know, I know, I should have something more lofty to say, like the first time I read Dostevesky, I knew I was meant to write, or the first time I read Shakespeare or something very high-brow, but ya know how we do. I keeps it reals.

And another thing.....

2006-06-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Bachelorettes Gone Wild

2006-06-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

The. Funniest. Shit. Ever.

2006-06-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

At first it's amusing. Then it's gets funny. then it gets fucking hilarious. then everything you say all day ends up coming out in that rhythm. Then it's over, BETCH!

thanks for showing me the light Adri:)

A Treatise on Britney Spears

2006-06-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the big Britney Spears Speaks Out interview on Dateline. I know, I know, she’s a little, dare I say loopy. She needs new hair extensions, her shirt was too low-cut and her chunky flip flops were circa 1995. Oh and let’s not forget the big glob of mascara that was on the tip of her eyelashes for the whole 60 minute interview. But I digress, despite all these outward and painfully obvious shortcomings, I still love my Britney.

***For some reason the blogger Add Image button isn't working. Imagine, if you will, a photo of Britney where she is smiling that geeky wide smile she does oh so well.

And not in that I-love-watching-monster-trucks-crash-into-each-other way or I-love-slowing-down-by-car-accidents-to-see-if-I-can-spot-any-blood way either. I love her for her quirky sense of logic. ( “ I Married Jason Alexander because I was missing a sense of home;…..It was a mistake…But I have no regrets.”) I love her for her defiant resolve to not look pretty for the paparazzi. ( “ I still go out in curlers. I go out for walks in my pyjamas. You have to. You can’t let them control how you live.”) I love her for her stubborn, childish explanations of past blunders. (The paparazzi was really impactful….They were surrounding me and my baby…They were shouting things. I had to get my baby out of there. I tripped on the cobblestone street. It happens… I made a mistake… I will make millions more. I am human.) I love her for her weird contradictions. She does an in-depth interview on TV to tell the people that the paparazzi are out of control. Isn’t that a bit like dangling a piece of meat in front of a rapid dog? She says that people are too-obsessed with her relationship with her husband, Kevin Federline. Well, then was it really a good idea to launch a reality show about your courtship, Britney?

****This is where I was going to post that photo of Britney where she's all blubering, and her mascara is running and her face is all red.

Okay, Okay. Maybe now I’m starting to sound like I don’t like Britney. Like I am ragging on her. Well, there seems to be definite room for improvement with this girl. But even if she stayed the way she is I would be happy; as long as she is happy. And you know what? Right now she’s seems very unhappy. Maybe there are easier ways for her to be happy ( IE dump her husband; get a makeover; get back with Justin), but it seems like Britney is in defiant mode and she will not relax until she gets what she wants HER WAY.

It’s doesn’t bother me. Sure I miss the ole Britney. But I also miss the old me that used to be able to party 4 nights a week and survive a semester of 300-level English courses on a diet or ramen noodles and Diet Coke. But times change. People change. I still enjoy hearing about nice Britney things. How she’s like “My Baby is my Religion.” How she wears those funny t-shirts that say I’m with stoopid and the arrow is pointing at some random paparazzo that’s chasing her. How she said that she enjoys getting fat and eating cheetos now that she’s pregnant. How she got Chinese food take-out delivered to the Delivery room when she had her baby Sean Preston. How the new Muse single “Supermassive Black Hole” totally bites on the Britney hit “Do Something."

I like it. Bumps and bruises and all. She’s like a slightly bruised apple. You’re not going to throw away the whole apple, right? No. You just cut around the bruise and use the apple in a salad or apple cobbler. Maybe the apple isn’t eaten in the way you intended, but it’s still good. It still has worth. And bruises heal, right? Well, actually I guess bruised apples don’t heal, but I think you see where I am headed here. I never said metaphors were my forte.

Viva la Britney!

I read Douglas Coupland's J-Pod and I all I got was the feeling that I'm not quite "with it"

2006-06-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

It's one of my biggest pet peeves, you know. When writers incorporate obscure references or inside jokes into their writing as a way of making themselves seem smarter than they are. Music reviewers are notorious for doing this. It makes me feel like I'm not cool enough to read this. Like there's something wrong with me because I can't pick out the letter o from 10 pages of random numberals from 1-0. It's so annoying. It's so conceited. It's so lazy. It's so Douglas Coupland's new book, J-pod.

I had big hopes for this book, you know. I guess because i've loved all of Douglas Coupland's other works and I felt like he was a nice guy because when he did a signing for his Terry Fox book, he didn't mind that I had just my old Hey Nostradamus book and not the new book he was promoting for him to sign. Also I hadn't read a good book in a while. I'd been reading a lot, mind you. But since the whole James Frey A million Pieces debacle, I haven't really been excited about reading a new book. Until J-pod.

Maybe that's why I happily shelled out $30 for a hardcover edition of the new book the week it came out.
But pretty early into the book I realized that while it followed the same tried and true Coupland formula of using average-joe type young people who get suckered into the weird situations that have always been regulated to old wives tales and urban legends; there was a twist and not good one. This time Doug decided to incorporate about 100 pages of weird drivel. Like 5 full pages of prime numbers; like 20 pages of random oversized text that doesn't relate to the narrative; like a boring plot twist that turns Douglas Coupland into a character in his own novel. ( how self-reflexsive; how self-aware; how self-CENTRED).

This book was not terrible. But it was not good either. Take my advice Doug: go back to writing about what you know: young people dreading the apocalypse and pop-culture references that everyone undertstands and appreciates. No more weird Japanese crap! No more recycling your old books.

Thanks!

Dear Tai, Cher would be like, soo proud.....

2006-06-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who can barely belive that this girl, in all her dumpy, overly-eager glory has trasnformed from ugly duckling, to coke-out whore, to the D-listed, teen version on Meg Ryan to an actual campy and glorious singer?

It's weird. But somehow hypnotic. And the song is catchy as hell.
And for some inexplicable reason, I feel like a proud mama, like a proud Cher when she unveiled Tai in her apres make-over glory to the class and all the boys were all over her including her ex-stepbrother, ( Paul Rudd before he got a little chub and wrinkly) which made her jealous, because now she had like created a monster or something as everyone was talking about Tai instead of her and now she had the hotts for her ex-step-brother. But I digress.

I love this song. I love Clueless. I love Cher.
The End.

Music...makes the people.. come together......

2006-05-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a borring office job has it's perks. There's the ability to email your freinds and plans your weekend all day long. There's the option to spend 3 hours discussing what you should eat for lunch with your one co-worker. There's an unlimited supply of Canada Springs water and endless opportunities to flush your system. And there's days like today where I can upload fun new music to my mp3 player.

Here are my new (to me) favourite tracks this week:

Stellastarr* - Sweet, troubled soul.

Artic Monkeys - A Certain Romance

The Knife - Heartbeats.

The Rentals - Friends with P. (F.Y.I. This is my new theme song. Be forewarned).

Yah!! I love new music on my mp3 player! WOO HOO! Feel free to leave your new favourite songs. NO oldies!!!

Help a Dorky Canadian Brother out...

2006-05-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay. I guess this is all all fraud. My tirade againist the immorial Inernet was all but in vain. Whatevs.

www.dlisted.blogspot.com

Oh, Internet. You are so coy. First you let that girl sell her virginity on E-bay. Then you let that sleazy TMZ site post a video of two 8 year-olds going at it. Oh and let's not forget the malestorm that is the mail-order brides phenomenon. Now there's this guy Geoff. Geoff is 25. Geoff is a virgin. Geoff's 'friend' that happens to be soem hot blonde, has agreed to de-virginize him if he gets 5 million hits on his site in the month of May. www.avirginsplea.com

He's already at 3.1 million.

Who knew the Internet could help a lonely virgin get laid by some pretty girl; whose next step will no doubt be sexing the poor, hungry virgins in Africa.

And you thought Paris Hilton was the sign of the apolcaylse.

Current Mood: Fed Up

Currently Listening to: Gnarls barkley.

A little late

2006-05-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

I may be about 3 months late on this letter, but as everyone knows I never get over stuff and I love to surf the net. So here's my ode to my last pitiful relationship courtesy of the break-up letter genarator.

Dear Dave;
Not a day passes that you don't tell me how important I am or how much you love me, but those are just words. What I need are actions that convey how you can't live without me and would do anything to keep me. I need someone shit-house, loony-bin, arsonist crazy about me-- willing to do anything and everything to keep me. Dave, that's just not you. While it does feel like you love me, it's not a smothering, obsessive, borderline psychotic love. Its more of an unneurotic, trusting, agape love with luke-warm infatuation at best. There's no jealousy, no vindicitiveness, no sense of possession. For christ sake, you haven't even given me a cell phone so you can call me when you need something important--like knowing where I am all the time. Trust is nice, but is paranoia too much to ask in a relationship?
Honestly, Dave, in the 2 weeks that we have been together, how many times have you bashed a beer bottle over the head of some asshole who made eye contact with me or accidentally brushed against me as they passed? Or peppersprayed an overfriendly sales clerk? I'll tell you how many times--the same number of times you carved my name into your arms with a razor blade and got it tatooed in cursive on your neck---none. You never talk of ending your life in a world without me. Sure, you'd probably cry over it, be heartbroken for a month, but that's not good enough. The guy for me would call, start crying and begging to get back together. When that didn't work he'd threaten me, immediately apologize, and offer me money, jewelry, or anything else I wanted to get back with him. When, I still rebuffed this dream guy of mine he'd turn suicidal and explain to how he was going to kill himself. I would half-heartedly talk him out of it, at which point he'd blame it all on me. Finally, he'd keep repeating how he didn't need me, loudly curse me for being so worthless then hang up on me. The next day he would call, and we'd do it all over again. I'm not asking you to kill yourself if you lose me, but a half-hearted effort of washing a package of Dexatrim down with a bottle of Nyquil so you at least have to get your stomach pumped would be a nice gesture.
Sure, sure, you're caring, sweet, devoted, honest and loyal. Those are fine and all, but pathological is what I need. Someone who'd literally kill themself if they could no longer be with me; after they killed me that is. So, I must break up with you. The sad thing is, in a month's time, I probably won't catch you trying to follow me, you probably won't call me 122 times a day and hang up as soon as I answer, and you definetly won't mail me a package containing a dead animal and a picture of your dick with the phrase, "love is death and death is love" meticoulusly and randomly written all over it. Jesus, Dave, you just dont get it do you? Sure, every girl unthinkingly says she wants a Romeo, but this Juliet needs hers to do his part to bring Act 5 Scene 3 to its conclusion.

Adieu,
Preet

P.S. I can't get into specifics, but get yourself some penicillin and Gold Bond.

MISSHAPES here I come.....

2006-05-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

There are so many reasons why I've become obssessed with Misshapes. I love dancing to rock music. I imagine that there wouldn't be much grinding at misshapes or (unwanted) groping. There'd be polite boys in ties and bomber jackets and T-shirts with ironic saying on them and shaggy shaggy hair. Ther'd be girls in comfortable shoes. Girls who use make-up as crayons. Girls who didn't spend more than $8.99 on their entire outfit but next season will be worth thousands of dollars on the Marc jacobs runway. There'd be tons of peopel taking my photo and I would pretend they were paparazzi even though I love it. Ther'd be absolutely NO smiling. Only weird angular poses a l a Furonda on ANTM. Ultragrrl would be there and she'd give me a job at he record label doing nothing except waxing poetic about what songs I like from which as-yet undiscovered myspace talent. I'd dance like nobody's businss and people would be in awe that I was from canada not a born and bred NYC-girl. Axle Rose would stop by and I would ask him where Slash was but he wouldn't bitch-slap me or anything because I'm a girl and I say it in such an endearing and sweet way that teh worst thing he does is tossle my hair ( Which BTW is a well-documented flirting move on the one and only Stephen Coletti). And Misha Barton would be there and say that she likes my shoes or some shit like that.
Misshapes in my mind is AWESOME.

Currently Listening To: Bossy By Kelis

Japan be like Crazy, Yo!

2006-04-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

So maybe I'm a little late on this gravy train. But like, am I the only one that still finds it incredibly trippy that you can call someone from the future? Like that whole today is tomorrow stuff? I have a feeling that the people that invented time zones weren't counts on things like MSN, e-mail or long distance calling cards. Like right now, it's like tomorrow afternoon in Japan. They already had their Saturday Night sleep but I haven't and I'm talking to someone from a land that has already experienced the time that I am experiencing right now. I keep hereing that song from the musical Rent, when I think about it. "Today for you, tomorrow or me," The whole actually makes my head hurt if I think about it too much. Enough of that. Sometimes I think about going to Japan. I wouldn't go and teach over there for a year now. I'm too old now, and my family needs me to be close and a million other little things that keep me tied to this Limbo life I lead in Van-city, but sometimes, I think that maybe I should have gone three, two or even one year ago. My friend informs me that 'my grade 11 self' would fit right in with the harajuku crowd. I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted. Personally I think my Grade 11 couture would run circles around the harajukus. I mean it just looks like Rainbow Brite meets Goth meets Alice in Wonderland. Is that REALLY so orginal?? Okay maybe I'm just a little bitter that all my teen angst was in waste when really all my parents had to do to cure me of my apathy was ship me off to hang with my breathern in Japan for a summer.

These chicks would have helped me put everything in perspective.

Current Mood: Tired
Currently Listening to: Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP

The Noticer

2006-04-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

I notice stuff. Actually, I notice everything. I notice when people notice me. I notice when people notice that I noticed that they noticed me. I notice when people notice that I noticed that they noticed that I noticed they noticed that I noticed that they noticed me. I think I think too much. People make funny faces when they notice you. They either look right through you so that you won't have to make eye contact and do that awkward half-smile thing; or they look at you and then blink and then turn away. Noticing is weird. I always noticed the extras. I noticed that your fly is undone. I noticed that your nail polish on your left thumbnail is chipped. I noticed that one pant leg is kinda bunched up and you can see your sock when yu walk. Yeah. I noticed that, too. But God know, I never noticed those things about myself. My thumbnail polish is always chipped. My fly is always down. My little white Michael jackson sockettes are always showing. I am a mess. Because I don't really notice myself. I should, I guess. I should notice myself. But that could lead to unstoppable bouts of self-critical, self-refexsive, self-loathing. I feel more comfortable noticing others.
I always think about what woudl happen if I did more than notice. I mean Vancouver is a somewhat big city, I could avoid people if I wanted to. It's not like I haven't doen that before. But I always imagine little scenarios for people I notice. Create a little soap for them that relates to the littel thing I noticed about them.

Take this morning for example. There was this 40-ish Persian guy on the bus. He was wearing khaki-mustard pants and a khaki-mustard sweater over a crisp white shirt and some cheap business shoes from Payless, or something. He kept leaning everywhich way and was trying to figure out where the bus was headed and kept checking his watch. I think he must have hasd a job interview because he looked so uncomfortable in his clothes and he had one of those messenger bags ( to keep his resume in). I knew he had a family becasue I saw i wedding band on his finger. I imagined that he and his wife had recently immigrated from Iran and he was deapartely looking for a job so he could pay next month's rent. I imagined that they lived somewhere by Joyce Skytrain Station in a basement suite and that his wife worked long hours with a cleaning service. I'm sure he was pretty well-educated and was probably looking for a job way below his skill level.
Is that weird? That's not the only thing I do when I noticed strangers.
Sometimes I imagine what they would do if I did something completely random to them. Like today when I was wlaking down Davie Street and this homeless guy was just waking up. And he was so happy for some reason. He wasn't cute. he was kind of old. But we was really smily and he was like "Good Morning young lady." and I had such an urge to give him a big hug. Not like anything sexual. But just you know, I was listening to a fun song on my ipod and it was all sunny and the homeless guy was in a friendly mood. I felt like giving him a hug. Then at the gym yesterday, I was waiting for my step class to start and all teh girls were waiting outside and just chatting or whatever. And this girl sat down next to me on the bench when there really wasn't any room for her on the bench. And I was all hundled with my bag in my lap and trying to take a drink of my water. But I didn't have enough hands. I wanted to just drop my bag in her lap for a second while I took a sip of water. But I didn't. I just put my bag on teh floor and scowled.
Okay. the more I write about this, teh more weird it sounds. I'm doing to stop right now. Stop writing that is. Not stop noticing. I could never.

Current Mood: Notice-y
Currently Listening to: Beautiful by Belle and Sebastian.

Couldn't Resist...........

2006-03-31T12:20:00.000-08:00

These things are so funny. And at first I just started reading them, because that's funny enough but then I couldn't resist doing me own. So in the vein of Ashlee Simpson's "I wonder what Josh is thinking about right now" radio game, here is my first meme, and mark my words the mp3 player is the new Magic 8-Ball, ya heard?

Simple directions: use the shuffle function on your music player and see what you come up with in answer to the following questions.

How does the world see you? Boys ( Co-ed remix) - Britney Spears

Will I have a happy life? Don't bother - Shakira

***I prefer to interpret this prediction to apply to teh song itself, in which Shakira is telling her ex-boyfriend not to bother worrying about her, because she'll be fine ( she'll be fine, she'll BE FINE!.. Not to mean don't bother even trying to have a happy life. thank-you.

What do my friends think of me? Come On - Ben Jelen

Wow. You like me. You really, really like me.

Do people secretly lust after me? I'm a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears

How can I make myself happy? Ain't no Easy Way - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Ain't that the truth.

What should I do with my life? Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner - Fall Out Boy

Will I ever have children? It's my Life - Bon Jovi

****Okay it's MY life. That could mean NO right? But then again, the whoel song is about how you should do what you want in life because it's YOUR LIFE. But then teh chorus goes, " It's my life It's NOW OR NEVER, I'm not going to LIVE FOREVER," so may be I shoudl have a baby asap. Or maybe.... Why do I suddenly feel like I'm on the 1-900 line trying to decipher the words of Miss Cleo?

What is some good advice for me? I didn't Steall Your Boyfriend - Ashlee Simpson

How will I be remembered? Cha- Ching - Lady Sovereign

What is my signature dancing song? Goodbye My Lover- James Blunt

What do you think my current theme song is? Don't Need a Man - Pussycat Dolls

Wow. this thing is so psyhic.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Tango - Lady Sovereign

What song will play at my funeral? Love Burns - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

What type of men do I like? I get High - Talib Kweli

****Although I wish it wasn't true the magic 8-ball mp3 player and my track record can't both be wrong.

What is my day going to me like? Random - Lady Sovereign

So consider yourself tagged. Play it yourself . But be prepared for it's erriely accurate results.

Bwahahahaha....

I'm Sad Today Because......

2006-03-28T09:20:00.000-08:00

1. I hurt my knee and now I'm stuck waddling through life....

2. I bought CornPuffs cereal because it was on sale but it's not as good as Honey Nut Cherios.

3. I've been listening to Snow Patrol all morning.

4. Nobody calls me anymore.

5. I'm wearing exercise pants and Ugg boots to work again.

6. Today is Tuesday which means I should be phoning people to update their listings at my job. But I'm not. and I won't. ever.

7. I have a sinking feeling my boss will now start coming to work everyday.

8. My familt is full of crazies and basketcases, sometimes I think, myself included.

9. Everyone's always picking on my girl, Britney.

10. I'm itchy. My hair is dull and full of split-ends.

11. I have to stop taking hot baths because it's turning my skin into alligator skin.

12. I didn't wear a jacket today because it is Spring. Now I am cold.

13. I don't want Subway for lunch but I know I will have it because it's all I can afford that's somewhat healthy.

14. I need a new T.V.

15. I need a new couch.

16. I need a new cellphone.

17. I need a new life.

18. I think I think too much.

19. I notice everything. People are depressing.

20. Famine. war. racism.

Need I say more?

Eat and Make a Difference

2006-03-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs to eat right? Well tomorrow, Thursday March 23, is the Annual Dine Out For Life benefitting everyone's favorite charities Friends for Life Society (yayaya) and A Loving Spoonful.
So forget about reheating that boring ole meatloaf or whatever it is that you eat on a dreary Thursday and go out and eat something yummy. 25% of the proceeds from participating restaurants goes towards these LOCAL charities. This is the biggest fundraiser they have so please go if you can!
For more information:
http://www.diningoutforlife.com/van_sponsors.php

This concludes tonight's public service announcement.

how much blah bloh could a blogger blah bloh if a blogger could blog blah?

2006-03-22T21:21:00.000-08:00

What is the point of this blog? REALLY?
I'm not really interested in joining these circles of yummy mummies bloggers that do these weird rituals every weekday. Like Wednesday is take a photo of one of your body parts day. (Don't get excited, it's never anything perverse. It's moms for God's sake!)
I don't really write about any of my personal feelings or deep dark secrets in here ( that's because they are all about YOU. Dear reader, everything that is deep, and dark and depressing about me is all YOUR fault)
I'm not writing about one specific subject although I see a recurring theme that makes me think maybe it'sa good idea that my TV is almost broken.
So what's it all about?
A way to practice my pathetic typing. Nooo... Seeing as how it hasn't gotten much better and I never use spellcheck and I've just basically conceded to the fact that "the" will always be spelled teh. I'm starting a revolution, I swear.
Is it a way for my to post raunchy photos of me and fabulous friends living our fabulous lives a la Ellen teh Supermodel or Brian 'the guy who always has his nuts out'? Ummm. NO.
I'm not really sure what this little ole blog is about. But I finally figured out how to check my stats and I was surprised to find out that there are more than four peoplewho read this little ole thing. That be like Woh.
So it's started me thinking about what I REALLY have to offer. How can I be of service? In teh words of Robbie Williams, "Let me Entertain You."

More on that later. I gotta go spend some quality time with the TV.

Currently Listening To: We are Scientists In Love and Squalor
Current Mood: Scratchy

Oh Mama!

2006-03-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

My mom and I have been through our good and bad times. But lately despite everything else going on, our relationship has been good. I don't know if it's me getting older or her loosening up a bit, but we definitely have fun now. She's so weird and odd and has so many weird idiosyncrasies that I never noticed before or I just thought were lame and annoying back in the day. Now I swear sometimes I think she should be a stand-up comedian.
It feels good to have this time with her. I mean I'm old enough to participate in those ever pressing "girl's private talks" (Don't ask me to elaborate, I never will) yet young enough to still appriciate her old-bitty tendencies. (You try telling her how much a Chai latte, which was invented in India as a way to conserve milk, costs at Starbucks and then you'll see where she's coming from). She's so blunt, and rude and abrumpt and old-fashioned and stereotypical and all those things that most people, me included, at times, hates about their mothers. But somehow she always manages to solidify her point and make me laugh and make me think about things from a different perspective. Albeit, an archaic and conservative perspective, but a different perspective that I would normally brush off and disregard.
Sometimes, I'll watch her in a fancy store or somewhere out of her comfort zone and I see a bit of myself. You know, a little awkward, painfully shy, not looking people directly in the eye, overly polite. When I seeher like that, I feel a little pang in my stomach. Total Role reversal. She's my kid and I'm watching her to make sure no one slights her or looks at her sideways. The same thing she's done to me all the while I was growing up. It's quite annoying actually. When I was younger, when people said I was like my mom, I would kick and scream up a storm. She is crazy, ultra-conservative, old-fashioned and many other things that I am totally not and will probably never be. But I see now, that we are a like in many ways. We're both funny and bossy and a lot of other things that are way to depressing and repressed to delve into on my little ole blog.
The overall gist of this little tangent is that I feel like I'm getting to know my mom in a whole different light. Not just a mother, but a wife, a sister, a woman, a worker, a complete person.

Mood: Cheesy
Currently listening to: Taking Back Sunday Slowdance on the Inside.

Weddings weddings, wedddings!!!

2006-03-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

Weddings are in the air.
Well not really. I'm not getting married. Only one person I know is getting married. But it feels like the most exciting thing ever. It is the most exciting thing ever.
My best friend is getting married this summer and I am now getting into the full swing of planning. I can't reveal many details in case she ever reads this but needless to say nothing gets me more excited than planning and organizing things. (Yes. I DO realize how lame that makes me sound, but whatever).
Sometimes, I think it's so fun to be a girl. And when I get married that will be one of those times. Engagement parties, bachelorette parties bridal showers, not to mention the wedding itself. I think my actual wedding will probably make me vomit because I hate having everything all about me and everyone staring at me, but the other stuff will be so fun! At first I thought the bachelorette party would be the funnest part but the more I think about it, I think the bridal shower will be funner. That one has your family and relatives and I'm sure when (IF?) I ever get married my mom would be super-excited and all-bossy and would make copious amount of spicy Indian food and get that weird plastic smile that she gets when she's trying to be nice to people she doesn't know.
The Bridal shower seems more relaxed. The bachelorette party has so much pressure. IT THE LAST NIGHT OF HER SINGLEDOM. The Bride needs to have fun. Needs to get drunk. Needs to flirt with black guys. Okay maybe some of this is just in my head, but you can get the gist of it right? It's all staring down on me like the barrel of a gun and I'm not even the one getting married. I just want everything to be perfect and so fun for her.
Because after her wedding. It's the end.
The end of an era ( an era that really died when she and her husband-to-be became serious). I mean it's not like I'll never hang out with her again. Or like we hang out a lot right now. But the potential is there. And say I wanted to go to a bar? Would my newly-married friend go? What happens when guys start to dance dirty with her? Is she going to flash her wedding band ( That's actually not a bad idea to get rid of creepy bar guys) Or like if I was going out with someone and the newlyweds come along?!!! That's so weird. It's a lot of pressure.
Not that any of this really matters. Sometimes it just seems surreal. Like when you're in grade five or whatever and you talk about what you'll do when you graduate and then all of a sudden you're 17 and you haven't written your first best-selling novel or married the lead singer from Poison like you had been planning all those years ago. I've known for a while that they are getting married but now that everythig is coming down to logistics as opposed to daydreamy plans. It's so strange.
Everyone's growing up. It's exciting. and a bit scary.....

Currently listening to: The Hard-Fi
Current Mood: Antsy and bored

An Ode to Uggs

2006-02-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

You know you're ugly, right? Okay, wait. Maybe that's too harsh not ugly like there's no hope for you and no one will ever love you. Because people really love. I really, really love you. I guess I mean kind of ugly like Elijah Wood or Mark Whalberg or something. Cute but kind of off, a little awkward and oafish, I'd say. But you know what, Uggs? I don't care. I don't. I really don't. I don't care that Uggs were deemed officially over in 2004 by VH-1 and even Paul Franks Monkey has blasted you on his tee shirts. I don't care. I love my Uggs. It's getting to be a bit ridculous, though. I mean I wear you almost everyday to work. Work. Where I'm supposed to wear office clothes. But Uggs you've changed me . You've changed me and my priorities. I don't want to wear grown-up office clothes, if it means I can't be with you. I'd rather wear exercise pants and a dressy shirt, just so you can be part of the game. I've let me feet becoem spoiled by you. Even when I wear runners or boots, my feet say " Oh I'd rather be with Ugg." As a stated above: this is getting a bit ridiculous. Uggs are really not the most flattering footwear, you know. They make my legs look like the block legs I used to draw on my stick figures when I was a kid. SOmetimes I look down, and I think that I could almost get away with calling them clown shoes. And when I'm on carpet? Forget about it. I trip over my own feet so many times you'd think I was practing my tumbling routine for the 2006 Olympics. But I don't care. Why because you are comfortable and cute and trendy but not too trendy and did I mention cute? I really thought i would be over it when I bought my purple Mukluks. But you won be back, Ugg. You won me back with you fury lining and easy-to tuck trunk, I mean legs.

"I wish I could quit you, Uggs!"

In Honour of McFun.

2006-02-20T15:12:00.000-08:00

Grey's Anatomy is definetly one of the funniest shows on right now., ( and I'd liek to point out there are NO teenagers in this program) . It has funny moments, sad moments and the best television soundtrack, since, dare I say, The O.C.

In honour of all things Grey's Anatomy and the delicious-but sometimes- a-jerk McDreamy ( see photo), I've decided to play a little game using the McName. I've come up with McName's for everyone I can think of right now so now's your chance to guess who you are.. ( IF you think you aren't here, beleive me, you are).

McTeen

McAgro

McFarty

McDrama

McDiva

McChatty

McWanksta

McCrazy

McDeliquent

McGeeky

McScaredycat

McSmartypants

McBooty

McAnnoying

McLiar

Please don't get offended. It's all in honour of good ole McFun!

Current Mood: Hungry

Currently listening to: Nelly Sweat/Suit

A daunting task

2006-02-08T15:21:00.000-08:00

I used to belive that people that didn't meet new people were just lazy. The world is full of people we meet everyday. Even in my tiny work dungeon I manage to meet people from the mail carrier ( Lisa) to the 5 am-shift Starbucks barista ( Jeremy) to recycling guy ( okay, I don't know this guy's name but that's because our regular recycling guy recently switched routes.. We miss you Tony!)
Now I realize that those people huddled in their little cliques, trapped in circles of friends that have endured from school days are not deficient, or stuck up or stuck in the past. They are smart and they are realistic. It's not easy meeting new people. Especially new people that you have no connection to; not a friend of a friend; not a cousin or a 'we travel in the same circles' knid-of- guy: a complete stranger.
They know nothing about you and as much as I love talking about myself even I can find it exhausting to rehash my life story in assorted ways. You find yourself wondering if you should say this or that. What will he think about when this happened or I went to that thing?
Even when you tell some story, soem little anecdote from your past, you never know if they really understand what actually happened. What you wanted to sound like a funny story about elementary school reces games turns out sounding like a tragic tale of a timid but over-sexualized tyrant that molested all her schoolmates.
Everyone is guilty of TMI. Too Much Information, but sometimes it's like pulling a bandaid off an old wound. You just want to rip it off and get it over with rather than do it bit by bit and wondering what he thinks of this or that tidbit of background information.
But then when you give these little tidbits of your personality and your autobiography you end up getting your own surprises. Surprises that make you realize that you know nothing about this 'new friend.' Surprises that had you known to begin with would have kept you from wasting your time with your 'new friend.'
So what's that leave us with? well my good ole chums, that leaves us with each other. Like it or lump it. We know too much about each other to ever not be friends!

Current Mood: Anxious
Current Music: M.I.A. Arular

An Homage to tweens

2006-02-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

So what?
I am 27 years old and I like everything to do with teenagers. Is that sooo bad? Does it physically harm anyone? Does it offend people's morals that I watch downloaded episodes of One Tree hill and hit the chatrooms to see what the 12 years old thought of last week's episode? My teenage obsession keeps me young. I tak ethe bus a lot and you never know when a rowdy gang of Hilary Duff lovers will want to tussle. As long as I can recite all the words to "So Yesterday" I'm good. I'd like to see how some of you high-and mighty teen-chastisizers would last in a dark corrdier with a gaggle of tweens. I would flourish. Thank you very much.

I don't think it makes me any less cool to like teen stuff. I think it's fun, dare I say it, edgy. It's easy to be cool and like you know like Broken Social Scene and the Arcade Fire and Imogen Heap or whatever, but it's a lot harder to be cool and like
Fall Out Boy, Ashlee Simpson and My Chemical Romance. And I do it . I do it with Flourish.

Why am I so into teen stuff? I'm not sure. Whenever I watch a teen show or listen to teen music, I feel something, almost like what I feel when I buy some new clothes, I feel giddy and content and like I am a part of something. I never really experienced much of the teen melodrama I watch or listen to, I think I spent most of my teen years ready to slit my wrists or face down in a pile of my own vomit, so there's something fun and frivoulous about watching these perfect-looking girls go through their daily dramas with their perfect clothes, perfect accessories and perfect boyfriends. It's unbelieveable and beautiful and delicious . It makes me see the teenaged years as full of wonderment and discovery and heartache; not betrayal, bitterness and a plague of worthlessness.

Also keeping abreast of all things teen is an important exercise for my future career. I will be a big time entertainment reporter /pop culture jeopardy winner and I need to keep on top of everything that's happening in my target demographic.

So cut me a little slack and let me watch my teens in peace. And admit it, you love it too!

Current Mood: Teen-tagious!
Current Music: Trippin' BY Headley

Coldplay is my 14-year old boyfriend

2006-01-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

Giggling. Screaming at high-pitched velocity. Watching my friend Sarah, actually swoon. I mean I'd heard the word before, probably even used it once or twice to try and sound smart, but I had never seen a swoon until Chris Martin appeared at the Colplay concert on Friday. F.Y.I. If you think you wouldn't know a swoon if you saw it, believe me you will. The Coldplay concert was a lot better than I expected. I thought there would be tears and a gagle of girls bitching about why there wasn't more guys like Chris Martin on the market. But no. There was dancing, laughing, singing at the top of my lungs, and screaming, lots and lots of screaming. I think I have once again defended my title as the greatest screamer known to man.

The concert in itself was so fun. Chris Martin was wearing these super-white shell-toed adidas shoes (just like someone we all know as love) and all black. And he was dancing around so cute and skipping and some guy said after the concert that Martin was rocking the Roger Rabbit, which is just so unbelieveably cool. And his hair is so curly and he doesn't try to straighten it or gel it down or anything. Which I Love.

But the best part was when they did the encore and sarah was like let's go down. I was like what? But then I was like okay. And we went down and the security guard was totally eyeing us so I pretended we were friends with these 15 year old girls and just walked right into their seats. But then Chris Martin came rushing all the way down the stage and across the whole floor to sing part of "In my Place." So I totally pushed Sarah down the steps and towards the railing and she grabbed his arm and I, I think, touched his shirt. It was so fun to be so close to him while he was singing. And sarah, oh, my god, I thought she was going to pass out.

After that I think we yammered on and giggled about it for at least the next hour or so. It was so fun. A perfect end to a perfect concert.

Brown power

2006-01-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

Anoop d-o-double-g is my new idol.

See his prolific ryhming skills

Have you ever?

2006-01-24T15:24:00.000-08:00

Have you ever counted the paint bubbles in the area right above your computer monitor?
Have you ever seen how long you can hold your breathe by calculating your average in the last 25 trys?
Have you ever actually grow tired of looking at celebrity blogs and reading about the priveldged lives of NYC scenesters?
Have you ever organized your pens by clour and ink level?
Have you ever drank four litres of water just so you have an excuse to get up and go to the bathroom like 15 times a day?
Have you ever drawn a multi-sided object and then count up all the sides and try to come with a new name for the newly-discovered shape? My latest- the 137-sided "heptamaximillianagon."
Have you ever cleaned your keyboard with toothpicks?
Have you ever traced outline of all your appendages (both hands and feet and unfortunately, three unsuccessfull attempts at my head.)

This is typical day of boredom at my chimpanzee, number-crunching, mind-numbing j-o-b.

Somebody get me outta here!!!

Currently Listening to : Lady sovereign ( my new favorite)
Current Mood: Anxious!

Chronic-WHAT-cles of Narnia....

2006-01-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

I'm sure almost everyone has seen this already but for for those unfortunate two ( that means you turning japanese-a). Here it is, cupcakes and glocs and all

SNL Narnia Rap

Dreamy....

2006-01-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

Bet ya didn't know......

That my grade 4 boyfriend Jordan Knight is coming to Richards on Richards this Month.
That Jordan's dad is Canadian, which makes Jordan 1/2 Canadian.
That Jordan's favorite candy is green gummy worms.
That Jordan's favorite colour is army green.
That Jordan has a five-octave vocal range ( like Mariah Carey and Christina Augerila)
That Jordan prefers boxers to briefs
That Jordan always travels with his pillow to remind him of home.
That Jordan used to sing in the church choir.

How's that for a good memory? I spent all day at work today listening to NKOTB songs, but not like the mainstream ones, not the singles, but the rarities and b-sides like Didn't I (Blow YA Mind); Cover Girl; Happy Birthday; Valentine Girl; I Need You. I 3> NKOTB. They are the Temptations of my generation. They say such sweet things... They dance so cutely. Okay I have to go. I need to practise my high-pitched scream.

Pink Elephants.....

2006-01-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

I remember in grade four when Mr. Tomlinson first explained to to a class full of mean-spirited snotty-nosed brats the meaning of pink elephants. One snotty nose brat way conveniently missing from this surprise lecture. Her parents had suddenly separated after her mother had mysteriously turned extra-friendly with her female best friend.

Out little community of fruit roll-ups and rice krispie squares was a buzz with the news. Unheard of words like lesbian and homo were passed down from older brothers and sisters with sicking splendour.

But even those of us who were friends with said girl were afraid. What would she act like now? How should we act? What would happen if we went to her house? The potential for embarrassment and awkwardness was palatable.

Mr. Tomlinson said that pink elephants were our saviors from awkward silences and and missplaced sentiment. Pink elephants, he explained were the gauge to help us show our sympathy without overdoing it, acting awkward or acting like nothing happened.

Here's how pink elephants work. Whenever you feel awkward or aprehensive about talking to someone about something, go up to them and say whatever type of plative you want ( i'm sorry about your mom; too bad she's a lesbian and now you're dad's living in a bachelor suite on View Street, etc) and then when you start seeing a pink elephant (usually by this time you've moved on to "I saw a lesbian on T.V. once and she died; two lesbians can't make a baby; If you're mom's a lesbian, does that mean you are too?") you know it's time to stop and start tal;king about "NORMAL" stuff. ( let's go listen to NKOTB; If you want to play airbands, I'll let you be Madonna).

Pink elephants. The perfect balance between seeming like you don't care and rambling on like an idiot.

What Makes Me Happy

2005-11-10T21:41:00.000-08:00

Here it comes in no particular order:

*The O.C. Bitch, LOST, General Hospital, America's Next Top Model, Family Guy, Nip/Tuck. I <3 T.V. What can I say? T.V., it's like the loveable, doting puppy I was never allowed to have.

* My new white motorcycle boots. After all the agony my feet have been through it feels so good to see them look so good and NOT IN ANY PAIN.

* Whenever my mom 'discovers' something. The Latest: She discovered giving to charity like it was just invented yesterday.

MOM: Preet, I feel GREAT, today. I did something GREAT today. I gave all our old sweaters and suits to the guadwara (church) to send to the earthquake victims in Pakistan. It made me feel so GREAT. It's called CHARITY. It's GREAT. You should try it too Preet."
ME:Uh..huh.. Wow charity.. never heard of it.
I think I would have thought this was typical of my mom's most annoying and self-absorbed habits, but now for some reason it seems really funny and cute.

* When the chubby barista at my starbucks gives me free drinks and food because I look so sad and wet.

*When my roommate sings like the soul sista he is or when he does his old Indian man accent.

*Knowing that my friends I never see or even really get to talk to very much still care about me ( that means you Holly and Andy)

* Going to Victoria for the weekend and going to John's Place for Rice and Cheese balls. Yummy, yum yum!

*Having good friends in your apartment building.. It's oh so Melrose Place.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Coldplay- X & Y
CURRENT MOOD: Hopefully hopeful.

This Rain is a Baptism on my Soul

2005-11-05T18:53:00.000-08:00

This is the time of year that always kills me. I don't know if it's the rain, the impeding end of the year or my fast approaching birthday, but November has never been kind to me.
November 2001: I agreed to move to Halifax with Jason when he was decided to join the Navy. ( Only to back out in February when I got accepted to j-school).
November 2002: I conceded to the idea to move back in with my parents after I graduated from j-school.
November 2003: I decided I would quit my job at the Grand Forks Gazette and head back to the coast.
November 2004: I decided to move to Gaytown with Raj.
I'm not saying that all these decisions were bad. But they were all pretty life-changing and filled with angst and self-doubt.

Now it's that time again. And i've been feeling that itch again. The itch to move out on my own; to move to another city; to quit my job; to sell all my possessions and move to India; to cut off all my hair. Do something drastic.
Sometimes I just feel like life is passing me by. Things are changing for everyone else, but for me, for me they always seem to stay the same.
I'm not sure when it happened. But somewhere along my lifepath, I've stopped being who I always wanted to be: fun, independent and successful and turned into this cheeky sidekick. The one to tell all your stories to. The one to bring along to parties because she won't overshadow you. The one to call up in a pinch becaue you don't have a date for Saturday night. The one to call up on those days when everyone else in busy. The one to invite to help you run errands or to water your plants while you're away on vacay.
Lately I've noticed that I don't really like who I am anymore. I find myself doing a lot of things that don't interest me anymore and talking about stuff that's not funny or interesting to me anymore. I don't really know what these realizations really mean except for the fact that I really need to make some major changes in my life.

CURRENT MOOD: Unsatisfied
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Johnny Cash "Best Of"

Sooo EDGY.....

2005-10-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

I am so edgy sometimes... First I saw an EDGY movie last night. Everything is Illuminated, directed by the great Liev Schrieber ( yes the creepy guy from Twin Peaks, soo edgy) and starry a creepy-looking Elijah Wood. It was really funny, but also sad because Elijah was looking for information on his grand-father who was a persecuted Jew during WW2. Funny and sad is sooo edgy.....

Then I added this goggle map to my blog: http://www.frappr.com/preetadelic. You can post where you are and then adda photo and it will be so fun.... It's actually a very EDGY technology that only EDGY bloggers are using....

And also, I'm going to be Diana Ross for Halloween. Now of course, I'll be Diana Ross in probably Ugg boots andjogging pants under my fabulous gown but's all good...

Then while I was doing my morning Web-suring rounds, which includes being like a cyber peeping tom to all these tragically edgy types in NYC, (Gurj is my favorite b/c she's brown and British, I think, just like I coulda, would, shoulda been if my Dad hadn't gotten deported from jolly ole England all those years ago., I also like reading this supermodel one) because it's about being hip, and beautiful and drunk in jolly ole England.

I found this gem.... Now I don't really need anything to make me love the Backstreet boys , but if I ever was not sold on their awesome-ness, their EDGY-ness and their star-power, then I am now..... P.S. See? there's no shame in lip-syncing if you do it with cheesy facial expressions.

CURRENT MOOD: curious...
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: CFOX's 90s at Lunch...billy corgan seemed so deep and wise when I was 14.

Green puss, blood and cheddar cheese and T.V., just another weekend for me

2005-10-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

At first glance, you might think what do I have in common with Paula Abdul? I mean besides the obvious taste in clothes, what would I have in coomon with a three-times married has-been that is constantly on the worst-dressed list? (DON'T SAY IT). I'll tell you what we have in common. PAIN. That's right we share a secret pain from a botched manicure (her's from a professional manicurist, mine from myself when I was doped up on cold medicine). We shared the horror of having a finger swell up so big that you couldn't even wear a ring and then the fingertip turned green. Then last night, it felt so sore that I went the clinic ( THAT'S RIGHT), and I thought I had broken my finger but the doctor said it was an infection and then he cut it open and drained all this green puss from it. GREEN PUSS. It hurts. A lot. Then he gave me some antibiotics that I have to take four times a day.

It's so weird. But now I feel closer to Paula than I have in a long time. Probably since Forever Your Girl.

Then this afternoon I was making a sandwich and was slicing some cheddard with a very, very sharp knife and totally sliced my finger and started bleeding everywhere. And we had no bandaids... So my roommmate called our neighbour Noel and luckily he was home and he had a bandaid. But now that finger is totally sore too....

And both owies are on the same hand. And It's making it really hard to type. So i'm out...

Current Mood: Sore ( Is that a Mood?)

Currently listening to: Final Straw - Snow Patrol.

Interviews.... The Other Side

2005-10-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

I hate interviews. The awkwardness and the fakeness and the anxiety are all oftentoo much to take. But today I experienced a whole new way to hate interviews. From the Other Side. I interviewed someone today with my boss and it made me realize that interviews are awkward and angst-ridden for both parties.
As soon as the Interviewee stepped into the office, we could smell her desperation. She is about 37-ish and hasn't had much computer experience but is trying her best to learn every newprogram thrown her way. It was sad to see someone try so hard to impress you for 30 minutes when we both knew in the first 5 minutes that she would not be the right fit for our office.
Most of the interviews went like that today.... Some people were basically straight off the boat and were very timid and soft-spoken. One guy, Wing Chung was super-polite and seemed very keen but he had a thick accent and a weird lisping problem so he wouldn't have worked. But I felt so bad for him. He was telling me how if he didn't find a job soon, he would probably have to go back to Hong Kong.
Overall, it was an exhausting and depressing day....

Current Mood: Spacey
Currently Listening To: Let it Die - Fiest

Sicky, sick, sick.

2005-10-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

I am sick.
I even called in sick for work today.
I am not on my deathbed or anything, but what with going to Victoria this weekend and needing to prepare and not even fuly recuperated from Thanksgiving,
I needed the day off. It's a good thing I did too.
Work is retarded. My 20-year-old co-worker is quitting and that means I have to do her job and it's annoying and means more work for the same pay. BOO!
I got my VISA bill today, and it is not as low as I had expected. BOO! I was supposed to get my nails done and dye my hair for this weekend, but I have no money. BOO!
I have barely talked to any of my friends in so long. BOO!
I hate being sick.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Laid - James
CURRENT MOOD: Grumpy.

Britney Spears + Kayne West = perfection

2005-10-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

This is so funny...
LOL.
http://liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/golddigger.asp

Popularity

2005-10-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I've thought about my own poularity. It was something that consumed me throughout high school though. I was never really popular per se, except may be in Elementary School and really who isn't popular when recess snacks and mix tapes determine your social status.
But recently, I've begun thinking about popularity again. What makes someone popular? How do you determine your popularity? I've always thought of myself as cool, and most people will agree, aside from a bevy of neurotic tendencies and a handful of dorky-yet -charming teen obsessions, I am cool.
But a recent off-hand remark by a friend of mine, reminded me that not everyone shares my self image. He was talking about the popular people from a class we had taken, and it just hit me like a tonne of bricks... I wasn't popular? I mean I know I can be shy, a tad snobby at times and definitely self-conscious, but UN-POPULAR?
It felt like a slap in the face. I mean, I don't think I should be wearing the homecoming queen crown but does that mean I am regulated to be one of those bitter ones with a long trench coat hanging out at my locker all day long?
In reality, I guess I am neither of these archetypes. A floater. One of those, "She was cool. Whatever happened to her?" girls. Maybe it all goes back to one of the only two pieces of advice my mother has given my about social interactions, ( the main one is don't go out; just stay home with your family). She always said that you never want o give all your secrets, all your personality, all your inner workings away to just anyone. Leave a little mystery. Always leave them wanting more.

Oh.. To be pretty, rich and popular.... It could all be so easy. Right? RIGHT?

CURRENT MOOD: Misunderstood.
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Folklore - Nelly Furtado

Today is the DAY!!!!!!

2005-09-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!!!
Tonight is the night. I am so excited.
Here's hoping Billie Joe breaks out his leopard-print bikini underwear!!

Current Mood: EXCITED
Currently Listening to: American Idiot - Green Day

The Dating Game

2005-09-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

Okay. So it has taken be about 26 years and 3-4 life-changing heartbreaks, but I think I might have finally figured out some fundamental strategies to this torturous game of cat-and-mouse known to most as dating. Now it probably sounds cynical and combative to call these points strategies, a little too military-ish, but today's dating/flirting patterns are much closer to combat than a friendly game of backgammon.
The one thing I am starting to appreciate about dating, is the lack of drama. Dating is easy. Dating is laid-back. Dating is not being paranoid when he doesn't phone every night. Not calling him and asking him if he misses you when your out drunk ( I'll admit I am constantly relapsing on this one). Dating is not over-analysing every little thing he says. Dating is drinks and friendly flirtations and romance and laughter.
Compare that to the last three significant relationships I've had which included: grand theft, over-exposure and abandonment and you can see why dating has been looking so good lately.
I don't know if it has to do with being 26, may be being a little more sure of myself and actually liking who I am on most days or what, but boyfriends are looking to be a distant memory that I barely ever want to revisit.
I mean I can barely stay in one apartment for any length of time, let alone a job, a group of close friends, so how can I expect to have anything except these 3-month hot-cold relationships with guys who get fed up and feel like I give them the cold shoulder or whatever mean things they want to say.
So here I raise my glass to the fine art of dating and flirting with wild abandon and getting asked out by strangers. I hope that I will master this art asap.

CURRENT MOOD: Contemplative
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: The Cookbook - Missy Elliot

Sometimes being bored at work is the lesser of two evils....

2005-09-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

So yesterday when I was bored at work, me and my 20-year-old co-worker decided to read our palms with the trusting help of the all seeing Internet. God idea in theory. Terrible idea in practise.

MY PALM SUCKS.
My life line is so short i could drop dead any second.
I'm supposed to have two husbands both of whom cheat on me.
I will have 2 bastard babies.
I will have no fame.
no fortune.
But surprisingly a lot of luck.

Whatever.

Here's the link if you want to torture yourself: http://www.ofesite.com/spirit/palm/lines.htm

Families...YESH!

2005-09-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

Boy, oh boy. DO I have one helluva headache. What is causing all this personal strife, you ask.... Family... Family drama. Not baby-mama drama, thank God. But sick,getting elderly parents drama, and stupid family politics drama.

I don't know when it happened that whenever it rains really hard, or it's really smoky outside, that I suddenly start woorying about my mom and dad and if they are having respiratory problems or are driving in the rain.. Every saturday I think about my poor dad out at my sister's house mowing her lawn using this ratty old extension cord that is held together with duck tape and spit. I always phone him around 4 pm and he always sounds dog-tired and like he's ready collapse. But he doesn't want to stop. And who am I to tell him what he has to do, really.

I don't know, It's really sad to think about your parents mortality. What parts of your life they'll get to see and experience....

I don't know when I started thinking like this.... I guess probably when my dad broke his hip. I know he has many, many more years ahead of him, but it was the hardest thing to see him there so helpless and worse than that, so resigned to his helplessness.

And I'll never forget when the nurse at the hospital asked me if I was having a good visit with my grandpa ( meaning my dad) and I burst into tears right in front of everyone.

Now my mom is getting sick with some mysterious illness. It's weird to hear her so resigned. She is always, in spite of anything: flu, irritations, arguments, tiredness, TENACIOUS, to say the least. But today when I talked to her she sounded so small and quiet. It was weird. I'm sure it's nothing too serious. She has been taking way too many prescriptions and it's sounds liek some of them are having weird reactions with each other.

But what gets me, is the way both my parents are so lackadaisical when it comes to their own health. "How are you feeling?" "Where does it hurt?" "When did you start feeling like that?" They can't even answer these simple questions. They don't know anything about their own bodies. And the doctors.. don't even get me started. I think their doctor totally plays down to them and doesn't take the time to listen to them and just sends them off with another needless prescription. And they don't complain. They were raised to just go along with whatever. Don't rock the boat...

Sometimes it's like I'm only in vancouver not even 2 hours away, but it is too far to help them sometimes....

The Say Anything report - a study in male sensitivity 10 years in the making.....

2005-09-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

There's only so much I can say about how much I love Say Anything. It represents everything that I want in life and the struggle to achieve it. Greatness. Love. The unexpected and the obvious. Friendship. Family. Laughter. Tears. Say Anything is seriously the greatest movie ever made.

And I've come to realize that there are really only two types of men in this world. The men who grind up on you at the club, who cheat on you, steal from your neighbours, turn into unrecognizable drug addicts, whoplay crazy mind games with you and the Lloyd Doblers of the world.

In fact, I recently read a story in Dose magazine about how girls who are into this movie have a hard time keeping a boyfriend because no guy will really measure up to Lloyd Dobler. I don't really believe that, yet. But Lloyd Dobler is the perfect guy. Confident but shy. Macho ( with his kickboxing) but sensitive. Popular but a loner as well. He is a study in contradictions, and that is exactly what makes him so appealing.

So it is unabashedly that I hereby admit that I use this movie. I use this movie as a shield to protect me from recurring heartache and dissappointment, ( God know I've had enough of that). After careful analysis I've realized that guys' reactions to certain scenes in Say Anything reflect on the way they will inevitably end up treating you. I'm not advocating dumping someone becuase they didn't confess their undying love for all things John Cusack. But I will admit, that after watching this movie with some people, I've stopped holding my breathe waiting for the passenger-side car door to magically open for me or for a real conversation about what me is actually thinking about. So here is a partial list that I have found usefull over they years....

SCENE#43251
Lloyd Dobler teaches Diane Court how to drive a stick shift and the gears are grinding badly, causing irreversable damage on her new car.
If the guy you're watching this scene with is wincing/explaining why this is so bad for her car/ saying that he would never let his girlfriend drive his standard car- he probably will not give you a key to his apartment for like 6 months or will get really bent out of shape when you suggest you leave some of your stuff at his place.

SCENE #276542
Lloyd Dobler is driving around in the rain and then calls his sister from a payphone.
If the guy you're watching this scene with starts laughing hysterically at this scene, in the words of Jennifer Aniston "There's a sensitivity chip missing there." Nuff said.

Basically, I think watching Say Anything with anyone, helps gauge their sensitivity. Because beyond a teen movie and a romance story and a funny movie, Say Anything is a hopeful story about making the ordinary extraordinary. And I thin that's somthing everyone wants to achieve.

"What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it. "
-- Lloyd Dobler

i <3 Victoria..... at this moment!!!

2005-08-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

I had such a great time in good ole victoria! I totally realized that i could easily move back and fall into my old routines and be almost as happy as I am here in vancity. I would save so much money and if I had a kick-ass government job somewhere, I culd totally save money and end up in London for Glastonbury 2006! That would be so awesome! Now don't get me wrong! I am making no plans to return to teh homestead, but I just realized thsi weekend that Victoria is not as lame as I always thought it was. There are actually some new places and new club nights and new coffe shops that I have yet to explore.
I don't know what made me fall in love with victoria so much thsi time. I guess it's because I haven't been home in so long. Also I had such a great time with everyone I spent time with... I still find myself thinking about that weekend and now it's almost next weekend! I will devulge that it seems like Victoria has all of a sudden gotten a big cash crop of hawt young boys. I rememeber I used to hate coming home because every second person has slept with someone you knew or you went to highschool with them or something, but now (7 years later) those moments are few and far between.
There is this guy there that has phoned me a total of 2 times since Sunday. I think that's pretty good, considering he hates talking on the phone, to most people. I don't really think anything serious will come of it seeing as he is 23, American and lives in Victoria and doesn't like the busyness of Vancouver. But it is pretty fun to just be around someone you like and he likes you and it's so simple and there's no foreboding, or prevailing worrys about "where is this going." It's like sandbox, puppy love or something, you know. Exchanging glances, doing fun stuff, talking about everything and everything.... It could get old fast, but right now it's heaven.....

Fun fotos.......

2005-08-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos from raj and jamie's birthday party at david's house like 3 months ago ( raj just got the photos developed). It was a very fun night....

I am going home this weekend and me and my parents are going used car shopping yaha yahayahahaha and then I will go out and celebrate one of the best days, Amaya's Birthday! and then I will go and congradulate my girl sarah loveday M.A. on her brainy feat of successfully defending her thesis. and then I will go and pick richard's brain about what to wear for this forboding wedding that's coming up. In between all that I will be eating lots and lots of my mom's indian food.
I can't wait for the weekend.

Talking on the Phone.....

2005-08-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between being a chatty cathy and an insufferable insomniac, I've started neglecting my favorite pasttime. No, not teen soap operas ( i would never neglect those). Talking on the phone. So often now it just easier to send a quick email or call at a time when you know you'll just end up leaving a voicemail, than actually talking to my dear friends and rehashing everything that has happened since X Date. I feel guilty about it. Usually I love to talk on the phone. I still do I think. But finding the time between staring mindlessly at the keyboard for 8 hours, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, going to the gym and attempting to have some sort of a life; there's little time left for idle chatter.
I miss those self-indulgent days, where I would fall asleep talking on the phone and wake up with the pattern of the cordless phone tattooed on the side of my face listening to Don's weird half-snore/half mumbling sleeping noises.
I miss those shrill days of sitting inside the hall closet and laughing so hard I felt like I was going to pee my pants talking to my grade 7 buddy sarah for like 8 hours at a time.
I miss analyzing every moment and every look that any guy gave me and my friends at a party the night before with amaya.
I don't know why I haven't been on the phone much lately. I suppose I could still do all these things if I wanted to. But I guess I feel like if I tryed to talk on the phone for like 8 hours again and it wasn't like it used to be, it would ruin that memory for me.
I guess now I use my blog to overanalyze everything and msn to flirt with boys..... But right, here and now, I make an oath to return to my rightful place on the telephone throne. I hope to speak to you all soon my loyal subjects.

The first of many....

2005-08-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

Okay. So it begins today. I've been here at my new job one month now. Today is the first day I'm attempting to write in my blog from work. I'm a little paranoid. The boss is right in the next cubicle. And I was 12 minutes late to work today. But I didn't say anything because he gets here at like 10 am. And I'm not going to stay 12 minutes later.
The honeymoon is over. I'm done with the niceties. Love me or lump me.
But I am a little paranoid. I already heard him on the phone yelling at the cable guy telling him our bill is too high. So I'm trying to type lighty, because in this job you don't type too much. I think I already have a slight strike againist me because I listen to hip hop music at my desk ( I get the feeling he's more a Tragically Hip or Bruice Springsteen type) and then today he saw my desktop icons and he was like "what happened here?" all shocked like a baby had been dumped in a dumpster or I had been running immigrants from Mexico through a tunnel in my office. I was like " I made the icons bigger. I like them bubbly." And he had this weird disgusted look on his face and just kind of walked off without saying anything else.

Where da weekend at, yo?

2005-08-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

Oh weekend,
where for art thou weekend? You came and went so fast like the ever-elusive shooting star on a summer's night. We laughed, we cryed, we dryed each others tears and kissed each other's boo-boos away. Now, like the sand through the hour-glass so are these sacred few summer days. Days to run, days to dance, days to kiss, days to love. They are winding down through the turnpike of time into a cyclic abyss never to be enjoyed again. Replaced by the rotting monotomy of the daily grind, the rat race that encompasses all that is evil, greedy and glutinous. Replaced by the fast-paced banter of bored workplace colleagues waiting for the day to end. Waiting for another day to end, another night to fall, another sun to rise, returning us to the beginning to begin the torture once again.

Drunkedy, drunk drunk drunk .................

2005-07-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

There's something to be said for getting drunk at 3:30 in the afternoon on a sunny friday afternoon. I reccommend that everyone try this. Of course, then you are left with that inappropriate buzz at like 5 pm and you have to figure out what to do with yourself so you can still have fun but not generate too much attention to yourself. Luckily for me, there was a lot of things going on yesterday and I happened to run into some people I knew who probably think I'm a weird lush that hangs out with random aquaintances I find on the street, but I digress.

The best thing about getting drunk in the afternoon is that after you get home and hang out for a bit, you're ready for round two. And it's even better if you head back to the same place you were in the afternoon and all the hot waiters were just starting their shift and you were the only people in the whole place. Of course, it's even better when the hot waiter remembers you and notices that you've gotten changed and exchanged drinking companions....

I guess my point is, yesterday was a fun, unexpected summer night. Here's to many more to come. Muzzletoff!

HAPPY DAY!

2005-07-22T23:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah Me!

So it looks like I will be a blogger for hire! I am going to be the official fashion blogger on this new site called Beyond Robson. Yeah! I will get press passes and my own profile and business cards and everything! Yeah! I won't get paid in the beginning ( no one will) and I have to get myself a digital camera, but whatever...

I am being a procrastinator. I kicked my roommate out of the house so I could work, but I have not really done much. I talked on the phone, flirted with this random guy that's stalking me on MSN and applied for some freelancing jobs.

I don't want to jinx things too much right now, but, dare I say it.... Things are going pretty good right now. At this second only...

Tomorrow, I am off to Seattle for a big shop... ( before I even get my first cheque, but whatever)

So I will leave you with this quote, I know that's so cliched, but this quote is actually something that relates to my entry, not just random ( even though that's what this site is supposed to be about) :

“I trust that everything happens for a reason,

even when we’re not wise enough to see it.”

– Oprah Winfrey

Tips on dealing with Depression

2005-07-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've become somewhat of an expert when it comes to depression. Why, be modest? If they were giving out degrees in depression and self-loathing, I think I'd have at least a doctorate by now. So as a public service announcement to all the socially-awkward depression-phobes out there, I have compiled a list of tips, how-tos, and general pointers for dealing with your favorite freaks living on the edge of sanity. (NO EXCUSES!)

1. When it comes to spilling your guts out, it is less than thrilling when your heart-wretching story is returned with something completely non sequitor or mundane.
ME: "I can't beleive me broke my heart, stole my money, kicked me in the back and ate my potatoe chips!"
YOU: "What a jerk!... I wonder what Britney and Kevin will name their Baby?"

2. Never return a soul-bearing confession with your own.. Save it for another time and place.
ME: "I just stole 3 CDs from him and slashed his tires and gave his cat away."
YOU: "I served my sister meat and told her it was tofu!"

3. Don't be scared of the depression. Embrace it. There's nothing worse than finally gathering the courage to finally spill all your fears and regrets to someone, and then having them turn all nervous and twitchy and and awkward. This makes depression turn to annoyance. And annoyance turns to anger fast. Real fast.
ME: " I had such a bad day..."
YOU: " Yeah. That's too bad........... Okay this is a little to intense for me...... I have to go."

4. When you come across a random teary outburst, don't panic. Wait for cues from said cryer. If she laughs, you laugh. If she doesn't, don't.

5. When someone is crying, don't pat their shoulder or try to give them a half hug. Half hugs make no sense. Wait till she's done crying and then give her a real hug. Pats on the shoulder are no good either. They feel so, like pedophile-ish. Try the steadfast backrub or hair stroking. Both are effectual and not sleazy and don't overshadow the outburst itself.

That's all I can think of right now. So my civic duty is fullfilled for now. I expect to see all the depressed sharing their pity parties in peace from now on...

Wallowing......

2005-07-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I don't even think about it... I get by on compliments from random strangers, weird first dates and the occasional daliance with the perpetual unsuitable suitor. But sometimes... when I'm walking by a cute japanese couple and they are wearing coordinated outfits and are so tiny and cute and so obviously in love. I want it. I ache for it. Not to be Japanese. Not to be tiny. ( although those things would be good). Just to be so in love with someone. So coupley.

I don't mean to sound so cliched but love does make the world go round. What do people live for? To meet someone, fall in love and make babies. Or I guess invent someting that will save millions of lives. I'm not much of an inventor, so I assume my purpose in life is the former. I've met people, and I've even fallen in love a few times, but I have yet to take that next step. And sometimes, at my lowest points, I wonder if it will ever happen.. And it sucks. Because I don't want to be THAT GIRL.. You know the one, that's like, all whiny and pathetic and unfullfilled without a guy in her life. It's not that at all. I know I could date someoneif I really wanted to. But to find someone that is good enough to withstand the comparisons to everyone that came before him and is willing to learn all my neurosises and hang ups and stick with me through every little up and down? It's exhausting for me to even think about it.

I often think about the eternal seach for that one great love. Some people spend their whole lives looking for him. But what about those people who met the ONE when they were 16? Or 21? They met, they fell in love, they endured hardships and heart ache and then they broke up... Then they got over it. They met new people and moved on with their lives. But who's to say, if they hadn't stuck it out a little longer, may be tryed to reconnect, or been a bit more mature about things, that things wouldn't have worked themselves out?

What if you met the ONE, your true soul mate and you blew it? Are you supposed to just be like "NEXT!" Or are you supposed to go find the 'one that got away' and see if there is anything still there? And if you do that, who's to say that he hasn't moved on and has totally forgotten about you?

Interviews......

2005-07-12T13:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I think I've got the resume down pat.... And the dressing up for the interview is a pain but even I have to admit, I do look pretty professional, and nice, and hard-working and like I won't come in late or hung over when I switch to the heels and carry the nice bag with a blazer and everything... So what is wrong with the employers out there? They seem to think hiring someone to work as a minion at their measly company is paramount to admitting someone to the C.I.A. "tell me about yourself." "What appeals to you about this position." "Tell me a about a time you used humour at the workplace." "What is your time committment to this job?"
FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
Just read the resume, look at me, and then gimme the job.
This is getting a little ridiculous. Especially when they are like "This position doesn't seem to be in your field, why the change?" Do you really think I would trade in the world of working at cool magazines and writing music reviews and interviewing cool people for the world of answering phones and taking messages for your sorry ass, if I didn't have to? Puh..lease.

Whatever. I don't even care anymore. I just want a job. somewhere. somehow.

short and sweet

2005-07-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

i am working at the sea festival and it pretty fun even though I work like 10.5 hours a day ( yikes) quite a shock from my previous routine of heading to the starbucks to write at 1pm !
The best part about the festival is that everyone is like what do you do and I'm like "I'm a freelancer" and everyone's like "Ohhhhh... edgy!" What fun! Tonight my sista is coming into town. It will be so fun. We're going to ikea and kits and everywhere cool and too far to go usually! And then the Alanis concert sat night. Yeah It should be a good weekend. Then I have 2 interviews on Monday..... Keepyour fingers crossed!
Well, I should go... I have to clean the house before I leave for work so my sista doesn't think I live in a stye... (when really only my roommate does:)

Feeling it .. Sometimes......

2005-07-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if he realizes that something so little, something so slight can make me feel so much. It's the best feeling when he remembers something obscure I said in a drunken lapse. It means he cares, means he's interested, means that throughout our long ardurous non-relationship that he still is listening to me, that he's still paying attention to me, that he still wants something from me.
Me who is unwilling to give away too much, not ready to share him with every inside and out, me who spends more time thinking about what coulda, woulda, shoulda been than what actually is.... It feels so good.
Like if I actually was who I am and if I actually made an effort beyond drunken phone calls and impromptu calls when I'm in town, that may be it could actually be something real. It's weird. It's awkward and it's painfully slow.
I don't get butterflies everytime I talk to him. I don't miss him if we haven't talked in a while. And probably for the first time in a long while I don't need anything from him.
He's no Prince. Sometimes I listen to him talk and I feel that all too familiar feeling, like I'm in the smoke pit at high school and am watching for the teachers to come out and suspend us for smoking too close to the parked cars and at the same time am waiting for him to call me out for not really 'inhaling' my cigarrette.
I don't really know if anything will happen. And I'm even too preoccuppied with it.
Except when he says something so cute and considerate and surprising and funny that no one else has ever said to me.
But ya know...
It comes and goes......

Oi Veh! Canada is 137 years young!

2005-07-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Canada Day!
Yah!
I >3 Canada. I love it long time!
I love that we let people smoke pot on the streets, I love that we passed gay marriages, I love that we say aboot and garage and eh, I love that we have the CBC and the Globe and Mail and Purdy's Chocolates and the Tragically Hip and Hot Hot Heat and the Arcade Fire and the Rascalz and every other unassuming fantastic singer/band/rapper/writer/show that is Canadian and most importantly, I love that we are not sending our limited troops to a war no one really wants to be a part of or even understands! yah us!

Even though I dream about growing up in England if my dad hadn't got deported all those years ago and being so eclectic and having such a hawt English accent, (Yes, I still think about it. What can I say I have a lot of time on my hands), I am glad my parents decided to settle in Canada and near the ocean.

Canada Day makes me miss Victoria though. It's the one day of the year where all those beer-drinking jocks with Canada flags tied to their hockey sticks and wearing no shirts and with maple leafs painted on their faces look, somehow more appetizing..... Or it makes me think of camping on saltspring and getting too drunk too camp so we high-tail it for a b& B where we can exerpeince the joys of a mother hang over in peace.

Ah memories......
But I should be off. I need to listen to some Hip, or Bif, or Wide Mouth Mason or whoever is playing for free downtown. Maybe I'll even eat some beef today ( and not just a cheeseburger from McDonalds) and may be even drink some beer. Actually no. Beer is going to far. May be an ale-coloured martini.

Jesse Metcalfe + Me!!!

2005-06-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

jesse metcalfe is sooooo cute !

What a weird morning.... First I had this job interview downtown and I was changing my shoes on the stoop outside the building ( b/c the only way I can handle wearing dressy shoes is to change into them when I have the interview) Anyways I was taking off my socks and this guy was walking towards me and I was like who is that? Because he looked so odd. He was wearing like white leather loafers with no socks and this long tunic type of top... I noticed him at first because I was like "I thought only Persian guys dressed like that" and then I was like he looks like a skinny David beckham.... Anyways I arrived for me interview like 20 minutes early so I was walking around the area and I guess he was too. and we kept seeing each other and smiling and I was like what's with this guy (because he's like 5'4 and so I didn't think he was hitting on me) and Then I was like "ohmygaw" is that? Could it be? Is that Chad Michael Murray? Because I heard he was in town b/c his wife is doing a movie with jesse metcalfe and he doesn't like jesse metcalfe or something... Anyways it wasn't him but I was super-excited anyways..

Then the real shit happened...

I was walking by the Sutton Place Hotel on my way back from my interview ( it went good, thanks for asking) and I saw him. Waiting for a cab I guess. Standing outside in a white hoodie and a navy blazer and jeans.. I was like "Whaaat?" And most of you know my eyes are kinda bad so I totally stopped in the middle of the street and was like staring at him and he was looking at me.. Then this guy that I guess was walking behind me and probably not a big fan of Desparate Housewives, totally bumped me, I guess because I was standing there gaping at jesse metcalfe and not letting anyone by. So then While I was all like "So sorry, excuse me sir," Jesse metcalfe took off his sunglasses and then I totally knew it was him because even a blind man would recognize his bushy eyebrows..... I think his intense stare ( I think like 15 seconds he was staring at me and only me) means we're going steady... I'll keep ya posted on the weddding date....

Good Friends are the Chocolate Chip Cookies of Life.....

2005-06-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

When you're down and you need a quick fix, good friends are there and they don't need you to rehash all the grizzly details of your latest meltdown; they don't need to turn everything around and blabber on about themselves... They are just there. Offering an encouraging word, a non-judgemental ear, an uninterrupting listening post, a long-distance phone call from the otherside of the world or even a plate of freshly baked cookies. Good friends make you relaize that your lack of a job, lack of money, lack of suitable mates, do not a good life make... For whatever reason it be, despite it all, many people are happy with nothing becuas ethey just decide to be happy. So today, I salute you my buddies, for hanging in for the many lows amid the memorable highs.. I don't know what I would do without you:)

No Job for Me....

2005-06-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

So I didn't get that job at the vancouver Musuem... I knew it was too good to be true... It was too easy.. I was too excited.. I told too many people about it... and now I don't have it. It sucks. Today is exactly 2 weeks since I lost/quit/was fired from my job.. And I have had a total of one interview.. One interview in 2 weeks.... It's retarded. I'm not sure what's wrong with me... My roommate has like millions of job interviews and is starting a new job and it just seems like everything is fabulous for everyone but me... So i dunno what I will do... I feel the itch to do something drastic... I am not going to ge a job at like starbucks or something just so i can keep my shitty life in Van and keep going out on these meaningless 'getting to know you' dates.... It's pathetic....I never imagined my life at 26 (gulp) would be so shitty... so devoid of anything.. so unsettled.. I may not wanna be saddled with a ball and chain but is it too much to ask for a job that is in my field that pays like over $11/hr? I get the feeling it is.. this sucks....